The Father's Daughter

2006-08-05T13:28:00.000+08:00

with sadness i've decided to leave this blog to use multiply.
due to major spamming from who knows what.... sigh :(

visit me there.

http://thechildjesusloves.multiply.com

2006-07-31T21:33:00.000+08:00

NAPFA vs NS

it's quite funny cos after a few years of no PE.. i suddenly have NAPFA!! and my brother bryan has been called up by the NS for vocation assessment as the time draws nearer for him to serve the nation.

both of us are PES A... (for me, A's for absent)

for me it brought me back to secondary school days.
for him it's bringing him forward into something new.

my dad and i have been cracking NS jokes. they're really funny but i don't think i shall put them here.

still we love our nation. and we love what it does for our boys.

2006-07-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

Spirit vs the flesh

yest they announced who was getting the lead roles and the understudies. for my role i din get either. lol. but actually i was pretty ok with it. not upset but peaceful. praise God for favour tho. cos my director and the drama director said that the votes for ours were the closest (while they actually picked who they wanted for the role) so i was welcomed to join them whenever they had rehearsals for the lead roles and vocal trainings. and some of the people i din expect came and told me they were hoping i would get it and were more upset than me about it. felt so favoured!

i thank God cos His favour's all over me whether anot i get the role whether anot the directors like me anot. it doesn't matter who on this earth likes me. it's the favour of God that matters.

but as i went home last nite, i suddenly wanted the role badly. talk about confused. but i realised that it was just my flesh. my flesh was crying out for the attention. it was crying out for the lost opportunity to sing a solo song.

i realised that it's so subtle. sometimes i don't even know that it's my flesh that's acting up. i think we're all very familiar of our flesh being the one that makes the mistakes or when we're lazy or bad, we know it's our flesh. but when it comes to the "little things" like our egos/pride (guys have ego girls have pride :) ) getting hurt or vainglorious habits it never occurs to us (ok me) that this is part of the flesh.

sometimes we say things like "part of me wants this but yet part of me want that". i believe alot of the time we have the Spirit way but we want what our flesh wants. it is weak afterall.

but i realised that the flesh is no longer a part of me! because it's dead! it died with Jesus on the cross. amen! i'm blessed. :)

2006-07-25T11:08:00.000+08:00

Bring it on - Steven Curtis Chapman (Declaration)

I didn’t come lookin’ for trouble
And I don’t want to fight needlessly
But I’m not gonna hide in a bubble
If trouble comes for me
I can feel my heart beating faster
I can tell something’s coming down
But if it’s gonna make me grow stronger then…

Bring it on
Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll, let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let the trouble come, let the hard rain fall, let it make me strong
Bring it on

Now, maybe you’re thinkin’ I’m crazy
And maybe I need to explain some things
‘Cause I know I’ve got an enemy waiting
Who wants to bring me pain
But what he never seems to remember
What he means for evil God works for good

So I will not retreat or surrender
Now, I don’t want to sound like some hero
‘Cause it’s God alone that my hope is in
But I’m not gonna run from the very things
That would drive me closer to Him
So bring it on!

Bring it on
Let the lightning flash, let thet hunder roll, let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let the trouble come, let it make me fall on the One who’s strong
Bring it on
Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll, let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let me be made weak so I’ll know the strength of the One who’s strong
Bring it on
Bring it on

2006-07-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

favour of God protects me like a shield

You will deliver me
Your truth will be my shield
Jesus you cover me in your Love no fear prevails..

there is one thing that i've never thanked God for and i want to today. i thank God for what Pastor Chin did on saturday with the guys - leading them in prayer and showing them how they are the pillars in the church to protect the weaker vessels. i really believe that in the days to come we'll see our young men become all that God wants them to be. like Boaz with a respect for the females and with a stand to protect the virtues of the woman he loved.

i envy those girls who have our Campus guys in their classes and around them. today i had the worst experience ever in my life. i was harrassed by a guy from my class nonstop about whether i would go out with a guy like him or like date him (as if my taste was so bad). and i ignored him and told him no and to get lost but he kept doing it and he says it's to irritate me. the hardest part to swallow was that the other guys around (we were walking to the mrt) din even protect me. i'm not gonna go on cos it's not important. not gonna give weight.

the thing was that at first i was irritated and when i came home i felt so harrassed (i think shock) that i started crying (thank God not much tho). on the bus to buy stuff with the group of them i was like "God!! now's the time when i need a man of God!! to protect me" then God showed me that He's the God that's protecting me.

and i realised if my dad or my brother heard about what happened they would seriously kick this guy's butt. i think my dad would even beat him up if he knew his darling girl was harrassed like that. and God showed me that He was more jealous and protective of my safety than my dad was. and He knew. i could never tell my dad (for fear of what he would do). come to think of it. i think God (the best Father ever) wants to beat the guy up (Holy anger style) if i can say so reverently.

Jesus you cover me in your Love no fear prevails..

like what Pastor Prince preached yest if i make light of what happened, it's placing a curse on the person and the devil. i know that this is from the devil. to throw me off. i have been so blessed by the messages Pastor Prince preached recently esp on fri BS and on sunday. i just started reading "the kiss of Heaven" by Darlene Zschech and listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Declaration" cd and it's amazing. today during lunch, yongjie and hogan and i were discussing the goodness of God and encouraging one another in the Lord. so i know that this is just a trial.

i believe that my God is a good God. He's my Boaz and my protector. amen.

p.s. come to think of it it's just an outside thing! yay! the devil cannot get me from the inside! cos that's where Jesus is dwelling!

2006-07-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

Boys

a bunch of ACJC guys passed me on the bus a few days ago and i thought it's quite funny cos..

there was a time when i thought primary school guys were cute.

shortly after that, i thought primary school guys were boys and secondary school guys were cute.

then not too long ago i thought primary and secondary school guys were boys and jc guys were cute.

and now it's like they're all too young for me!

thank God for poly and universities. :P haha!

(i'm kidding)

2006-07-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

Of Guys, Passion, Support and WorldCup

well now that my blog has revived and my two most recent visitors are two soccer crazy guys i think - shawn and kenneth.

so i'd like to talk about soccer. was reading shawn's blog about girls and soccer. for the first time in forever i watched soccer. ok so i watched it cos i had little choice. and i love watching (cristianoronaldo)PORTUGAL and (fernandotorres)SPAIN (honestly i didn't even know spain got kicked out). k for me, it is about the guys. it's a soccer conspiracy lah honestly. soccer never saw so many cute guys in the past (at least not as many). remember the best consumers are the women.

anw before i start sounding like a bimbo, i used to be really into soccer k. didn't watch it cos it was boring but i used to play in my pri sch hk team lol and get bullied by the boys in my mum's cg to be the goalie cos i was the best k and they couldn't get many balls past me.

as i watched the rerun of brazil vs france and portugal vs england wow i felt something. esp brazil when i saw ronaldinho's face in the last few seconds/mins.. man.. my heart broke. seriously.. the pain in his face yet sort of still trying to hold onto that smile. it's the first time i've ever felt pain watching a soccer team - one that i barely even know and only support for their lovely colours and the fact they're Christian.

but that's all i know about loyalty. the thing i really wonder about is how do people say who their fav teams are? i mean if you're from that country k i understand duh. but for all the people in singapore and elsewhere that doesn't have their own team to support in a time like World Cup, how do u decide who you want to support?

please enlighten me!

2006-07-01T16:31:00.000+08:00

Friends... seasonal?

just a few days ago i was walking to the mrt aft bs with a new friend called ning (and edwin n ruby). ning's someone i met in the SP musical and she also comes to NCC. so we were basically talking about people and all that.

there's been lots of excitement in this musical thing. i have to admit that i'm very into it as well. the friends and everything that we're doing together. could be because of the camp and a half plus all the rehearsal times and the hols. so all we saw the whole holiday was each other. friendships that were formed pretty fast. and don't get me wrong, friendships are a really blessed thing. and i have my close friends in this as well. but i'm just thinking. after the musical, what are we going to talk about? what else is there in our friendship?

it's the same at many camps or activities i've been to. i bond quickly with everyone and by the next day i have a whole lot of new friends. but i don't have much to talk to them about after camp. kind of a sian feeling really.

i really hope that doesn't happen this time. i pray i make real friends that i can bring to church and we'll have lots to talk about even after the musical.

and we won't just spend ALL the time we have together after this talking about how sad we are that the thing is over.

thank You Jesus it shall be good amen.

2006-06-27T14:46:00.000+08:00

two things i don't understand and completely hate.

my lecturers think it's cool to use vulgarities.

and

guys flirting with me. seriously man.. it's not cool at all especially when ur not even goodlooking or charming. not cool.

2006-06-25T22:26:00.000+08:00

word of the day : bridezilla :) so cute

2006-06-25T17:42:00.000+08:00

being called mama..

i just got this testimonial from a friend from my musical (he's quite cute and i got to dance w him haha) and he said i sound like his mama! at first i was like WHAT!?! then after that i thought well it may not be a bad thing cos if he meant it as an insult he'd be insulting his mum rite.

then it brought me back to team extreme and TEENZEAL/DARE days. where people used to call me mother. i think i'm like the youngest "adopted (people adopting me that is)" mother. i first became a mother at 15. very very fond memories. some of the people who called me mother were my age and older!

thinking about it, he's quite in the flow. i mean this guy's never seen the motherly side of me for heaven's sake. in the musical i run around and play all day, do pesky things and get piggybacked by my galfriends. i've never been told that i look year one (young) so many times in my life (i'm year 3). the only one time i was motherly to anyone was when another dance partner broke his arm. and he doesn't know my past with the youths in dare (lol. sounds terribly criminal-ish)

i have no idea why he said that. and i have no idea why i'm thinking about it so much. i'm sure it's not because i think he's cute tho.

but wow it's amazing how much memories have come flooding back. reminds me of days when youths used to come and tell me stuff. or the girls just coming for a hug. and having many little siblings. and certain friends. it was such an honour being called that (of course with the occasional feeling of am i that auntie??!!). because i rem when i was first called that in team extreme, cliff my co-leader at that time, told me that it was a position to love the youths. to be the one they could come running to and remind them of the love of their Daddy God. and i got and still get so much love. til today i'm still close to some of them.

another friend used to call me that but he made it clear it was in a good way. the confidante thing i think.

the thing about being called a mother that's cool too is that it means a certain level of maturity. of trust. of love. shi shang zhi you mama hao (chinese haha). i don't know how anyone could think i'm motherly. but well praise God too i guess.

better than auntie.

i just hope no one calls me that thinking i look old or auntie.

charis be secure in ur Jesus!! ok so anyway.. i see it that the maternal instincts that God gave me are still there. so really praise God lol. really :)

2006-06-25T17:05:00.000+08:00

Girlfriends - make or break

i was contemplating a move to multiply but after reading over my blog entries from 2004, my heart just felt like staying right here at queenofhisheart.blogspot.com :) not quite sure what i was feeling but as i read through those old entries i felt fed. i remember with fondness everyone complaining about my long entries. i've tried to create short and interesting entries like how many other millions of bloggers can do. and i've learnt something. i can't! as i read my old entries it came back to me and blessed me. so i'm sticking to it. cos this blog is for me ultimately. and i'll try to update often. sorry tho my links bar is kinda un-updated. anyone wants to do it for me? :P

well that was my introduction lol.

last week i had a school camp. my first ever! believe it anot after 2 years of being in poly. as you've read i'm involved in a school musical. it's been great so far the journey. of learning how God wants my heart and how he has been answering my prayers. many friends much favour. very blessed. also the thing about it is that because many of my new friends are non-believers it has made me realise how complacent i have been.

i've come to realise that having God is so different. as much as some of my friends are cool and all, having Jesus adds a special glitter and sparkle.

anw so i wanna talk about girlfriends. i was blessed to have a group of girlfriends who were Christians in camp with me. two of them form my little "clique - the darlings". bryna and natnat. bryna was from mgs and natnat is from NCC.

the history is that because this is a sch camp where everyone's expected to be an adult the older cast (i'm part of the newer one) slept together in the previous camp. sleeping together means guys and girls together. so i prayed and prayed that we wouldn't have to sleep together ever. and God was good. He used the authority in the form of our "musical mama" vicky to split us up. i was having a great time until the last nite...

ALL the girls moved to the guys room at 3.30 am (we were all up til 4) to sleep together. i was horrified. and not only that i basically nearly sabo-ed myself by talking too much.

the past few nights the guys had heard noises in their room (i'm sure they used this to invite the girls to their room also) and since all of them were not in the room when i was there with my two darlings and the guru (we were worshipping and singing our hearts out), i bluffed them saying i had heard the noises and they were not scary at all. and the guru played me out! he told them i hadn't heard anything. so the guys were about to hold me hostage and sleep rite there. i was like NO WAY MAN! i'm not sleeping here! never! and they offered (out of best intentions but with no thought for my modesty) to sleep next to me to protect me. and told me not to chicken out and run back to the girls room.

it's a matter of ego and integrity. if you've known me long enough u'll find that i'm one of those girls with a rare case of bloated ego. integrity was to my parents and to what i believed in strongly.

praise God without thinking anymore, my darlings and i ran back to the girls room. here's where the make or break happens.

the other group of girls we're pretty close to were like wanna go? it was really tough. sitting there and these girls pestering you to go against everything that runs in you. but not long after they left. i plonked down on my sleeping bag and my two darlings came with theirs and we layed there as i poured out my heart to them. i felt extremely comforted when they said they wanted to sleep in the girls room as well whether anot we were anti-social or chicken. and that everyone else had to respect our decision.

that night, only the 3 of us slept in the girls room. everyone else was in the boys.

i felt so grateful to God. i believe that God really protected me and kept me that night. doesn't seem to be a big deal but it's such a big deal to me. i thank God for natnat and bryna. because without them it would have been harder. God used them to help me keep intact my integrity. my accountability with my parents. i really can't say i would have been able to stand alone because i know i couldn't - if not for the grace of God in this case my two darling friends.

that night, there was shalom in each corner of the room. there was the presence of God in our room.

my God loves me very much.

2006-06-25T16:34:00.000+08:00

contemplating my move to MULTIPLY.

sigh. Jesus be my motivation.

anw i'm thinking if i should blog at multiply now..... hmhmhmhmhm.... howhowhow??

2006-05-20T14:35:00.000+08:00

Female vs Male

a good one from the guys:

"when God created eve [women], adam [men] had no more rest"

courtesy of matthew (tho i'm sure someone else said it first)

2006-05-19T14:20:00.000+08:00

the controversy of da vinci code

there has been alot going on around the whole da vinci code book and dan brown. last nite pastor spoke about it. today as i was walking out of school, someone handed me a little booklet on it. from the pope to the church to experts, people are speaking out against the book and against the movie.

i totally agree that this book has no truth in it at all. (i've never read it but please MY Jesus married to Mary?) i do not believe one word of it. i am against da vinci drawing john, the one whom Jesus loves, so effeminate (interestingly davinci had a taste for men not women and he wasn't a believer until the last part of his life. when he drew the last supper he wasn't even born again). and i'm not going to watch the movie or read the book.

i can't really understand why dan brown who says he's a strong christian would do such a thing and write a book that totally contradicts the beliefs of his "religion".

BUT putting this all aside i have realised something exciting and interesting: people are interested in knowing all about Jesus. from this people are (if they're smart really) going to seek to find out who Jesus is. and they are going to find out for a fact that Jesus is their Saviour.

from sept 11 to the tsunami to the passion of Christ to davinci code and many other events that have led up to this day, people have been seeking for the answer and it has been circling around one person and one God.

if no one cared less for Jesus or for God, why would they bother reading the davinci code?

so in this sense i don't really have anything bad to say about all this controversy. cos it may be a good thing. people are coming home.

2006-05-07T20:44:00.000+08:00

I GOT IN!

lol if you read my last post u'd see me talking about being really scared about something. anw i got in :) haha :)

actually after i had done the thing and was waiting for the results for a couple of days, i had really mixed up prayers. it's like you want it but yet you're not sure if it's what you really want so you just want God to bless. so i was like "thank you God give it to me!" and then i was like " God! but what if i don't want it?". toufu prayers almost.

i've realised in life i don't really know what i want that is best for me. after asking God for wisdom, this is the first thing i've realised. so praise Jesus. He shall be my wisdom and the director of my life in whatever i do. amen.

so charis what did you get into? :P my school musical.

no seriously.

2006-05-02T14:58:00.000+08:00

tomorrow i'm going to embark on something that i haven't done for many many years. something that even people who have known me for a long time wouldn't believe that i'm going to do.

and i'm really scared! my heart is pulpitating at 200km/hr and it's nearly going to pop out. i'm excited and i'm nervous. the butterflies have gone up a notch from the stomach to the heart.

it's easy to pretend to look at Jesus and not be afraid or anxious. but the reality is that i am extremely anxious. and it's a day away!! arrghHH!!!

i know that in it it doesn't take me and it's all about Jesus. but how many of us still know that it can be scary still? God help me! be my glory and the lifter of my head.

ok that's all 4 now. just needed an outlet to let go some of the pulpitations.

2006-04-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

FOUR PRETTY LADIES

now that i'm out of DARE and most commitments, i have quite a bit of time to hang out with my gal pals. kaiyan, lydia and constance from the same batch. today we were celebrating kaiyan's bday. good thing we din ask the guys along. we had twice the amount of fun. and we had a revelation. we're 19!

ok i mean that's not like very old or what lah but the by our next birthday we're 20!! no longer in the "teen thing". man. time really passes very fast. i wish it slowed down. then we were talking about how times have changed like last time our mums used to discourage us from getting attached and now they're like very open to it while the dads have become more protective :) dads. we love them.

well i realised today that we cannot waste any more time! am i glad i never got caught up in a relationship that wasted my time, that would make my relationship with my family be very difficult. cos there really comes a time when your parents encourage the opposite of what they told you your whole life. and it feels weird hearing it. but yet it's quite comforting. but yet it makes me really miss the 15,16,17,18 years where it was like just pure fun and being crazy and young and crazy. and crazy~ not that we're not anymore. but it's still different.

it is time, ladies and gentlemen of 1987, to have fun! man! i'm going to have fun this year.

thank YOU JESUS!! make this year so fun and exciting!!

2006-04-08T12:09:00.000+08:00

A Conscience that is free is one that knows the blood of Jesus and what He has done

haha! yes i'm back. i'm really sorry for taking one week to fulfill my promise of being back here... been a busy week but an enjoyable one. full of Jesus and learning the practical things from the word of God.

so anw this is from last week but i think it's powerful and if anyone chooses to take this seriously, your life will never be the same. i was reading 1 thessalonians (it's this book that i've known is in the bible but i've probably never read in my 19 years). and it says that you can choose to take the things that are preached over the pulpit or shared as the words of God instead of the words of men. because the words of men has no use. but the word of God works in you. working in is manifesting itself, being MIGHTY in.

so anw last week i was going through some issues. haha. no seriously. i had this problem that i couldn't overcome. and the more i tried to overcome it the more i couldn't. and the more i couldn't the more i felt condemned. i mean it is very real rite... when you can't overcome a problem. so my conscience kept condemning me and it was really tough. the worst part was when i subconsciously started condemning myself for it.

so my breakthrough started happening during the combined service when Pastor Chin preached a really good message on overcoming. (actually my fav part was when he started talking abt how girls should value themselves but tt's another thing altogether). then at the end there was ministering and he said "whoever is trying to break out of habits or going through something come up and let the leaders lay hands."

actually i wasn't going to go up. because i felt like it would be so embarrassing. but something stepped out from inside of me and before i knew it i was up. and one coach came to pray for me. and the things she said really spoke straight to my heart. straight to my challenge. straight to my bad habits. so one thing that she said that is really what i'm sharing abt today is "stop playing the condemning thoughts in your mind over and over again."

then the next day just before 1st service started i was thinking about this and what she said. and i felt like "but my heart won't stop condemning me! how do i stop?" and God showed me.

He told me keep reminding myself of the perfect work of Jesus on the cross that has removed all my sins. Convince your conscience.

So i sat there muttering under my breath keeping on reminding myself of what Jesus had done for me that i could have the perfect conscience.

and suddenly rite there was this really free feeling. and joy. you know like when you're on this spiritual high u feel happy then like it's really a good feeling but it's not really long lasting. but this one is like a continuous thing that lifts you up and keeps ur joy there.

yeah and praise God that with this i got baptised.

so i realised rite that our conscience needs to know. know it daily the goodness of God. it's something that you know. but we can always know it more.

and the amazing thing was that Pastor Lawrence preached on this last nite at BS.

in the flow man..... :)

2006-04-02T16:49:00.000+08:00

2 April 2006

Charis got water baptized!

my thoughts on it:) i'm really happy. it's really the joy of the Lord. Deacon John was the minister. And he shared before we went into the water. it was really powerful. the thing that he said that really made me enjoy myself was that this is to publicly declare that we are in this for Jesus. we are serious about Jesus. and this year i want to be serious for Jesus. more serious about Him than i've ever been before. This is really cool lah. And the more serious we are for Him it seems more and more fun. I've never been so happy. anything you tell me now can be really funny. and yet i know it's not the type of high that i've gone through alot in the past. but it's a steady sort of joy. something that isn't feeling for a temporary thing but long term. amen.

anw i have a lot of topics to write about. but it'll come in a few days time. want to space everything out so that i have much to write lol. and so that everyone can read one by one! yup so watch this space haha :) yup :)

2006-03-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

UPDATE on Charis' LIFE

haha! i'm so sorry i haven't updated in a long time :) well i'm back again. lots of things have happened..

i have gotten my own laptop!! and new hp and all. :) so maybe i can blog more. then againnnn.. i've always said that.. and has that ever happened?

yes my birthday just passed haha! thanks sarah for remembering and yes i'm 19! elegant 18 to n---- 19.. haha i don't have any word for it..

anw i've just started my attachment at a company. it is really really fun! just that there is no internet available. that's bad. other than that it's super favoured and fun so far. and for everyday. i've gotten so much favour and no matter how busy my supervisors and bosses are they sit down with me everyday to go through all the design things and even let me make changes to the designer's design.. man...

haha and i realised that it's not so much the favour with the people there but the favour of God. i've learnt much in the past few months about the goodness of God and the favour of God. praise Jesus.

and then there has been DARE2PLAY.. i have never been as stretched as i have ever been.

i'll update more again soon lol... :) see you

2006-01-26T17:20:00.000+08:00

been so busy i haven't been blogging as often as i'd like to - which is like never. so here i am to show u (proudly haha) what i've been up to :) this is 3d viz.. where we use computer to make stuff look real :) and this is part of what i designed. praise God! and thank you Jesus for exceedingly abundantly above all i could imagine finale results amen!

2006-01-17T23:01:00.000+08:00

hello once again

yes i haven't been blogging... been busy and stuff. so just a little update abt my life b4 we go on..

well in sch now it's really really great!! been getting an average of As and A+s.. lol it's good... but it's also made me a busy girl... with hectic days... but still peaceful and fun. i love what i'm doing man...

as for ministry.. still serving in DARE.. and also in the pri 6 class. which is a whole lot of fun. and been going for campus regularly.. cg i mean.

ok so anw on to something i've realised quite recently..

you are never too young to be spiritually hungry and wise.

and

you are never too old to be childish (not childlike) and extremely immature.

ok that's all for now :)

2005-12-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

interesting reads in today's today

Palestinian BBC newsreader Mischal Husain. very cool. and unusual cos her surname's kinda husain... and she's british i think but she's very cool.

Russian Men dying too early. ah. i see. kinda sad how they only live til 58 or less. will keep them in my prayers. but while it's still like that no russian men for me. i'm sorry anastasia.

Singaporeans complain the least in Asia. are u kidding me!? wow. i guess they didn't survey some of the people i know. haha. ok we're really NOT that bad.

Christmas just a plain ole holiday in the US. this is sad. but it's no big deal. obviously there's some stuff going on. but it shall not triumph cos Jesus is our reason for the SEASON! anw in Singapore it's getting better and better and better!! Christmas on TV, Christmas at Orchard. Tangs proclaiming "Even Wise Men seek Jesus" and Ngee Ann City displaying "Jesus is the reason for the season" and "Love came down" (interesting how someone once told me NAC was built in the form of a grave). really really good stuff. Praise the Lord. i'm not too worried about the US. think it'll blow over by next Christmas..

2005-12-27T16:14:00.000+08:00

welcome back charis!

and it has been a long time since my last entry... i can't help it lol. i had lotsa things to blog about and not enough time. and now after constance has brought up the point abt reading my last entry abt a few 100 times everytime she visits here and how it doesn't really apply to her anymore cos PSLE was about a century ago for her.. i've decided to come and say hello to CONSTANCE!

i see many pple tagging my board too! thanks so much... :)

i'll try to update again soon.. been really busy w camp.. some major decisions i had to make.. with school.. with christmas and the non-holiday... with life in general..

but i suppose it's been pretty good... well who am i kidding? some of it hasn't been that great and i'd rather do without it... but oh well...... i'll be back soon! after monday i promise...

oh wait!

that's when everyone starts school!! muahaha... welcome to my world darlings... as i take a break from school... it's about time man!

well the new year is coming... a new year a new beginning.. new everything amen.

ok so those are my thoughts for now... promise to be back sooooooooooonnnnnnn.......

tata!

2005-11-24T21:04:00.000+08:00

PSLE results are out

now some of u might be thinking why would the PSLE results affect me? PSLE was over for me 6 years ago.. but this year the PSLE has been closer to home for me even compared to my year i think. after taking on the P6 cg rhema for a couple of months and then not for now... my life's been submerged into P6 all again. praise God..

anw some did really well... some didn't do so well.. some were happy with what they got and some were very disappointed..

and i learnt something. honestly when some of them told me how much they got, i was like "seriously that bad?".. oh gosh... but praise God for love overflowing... it was supernatural that i could encourage despite seeing things naturally.

at first i thought "but GOD! i prayed with them u noe? how come like that?" "but GOD! we did this and we did that.. how come like that?" but then i learnt something so powerful.

that despite the results... Jesus still loves us. whether we did well or badly. and whatever was bad, God can turn it for good. for His glory. and He reminded me of my own life.

i got 233 for my results.. compared to quite alot of kids in singapore i guess tt's pretty good.. but from where i come from that's bad... that's like.. bad... and at my time... that's really... bad...

but i mean look at me now.. i did well for my O levels... altho i was considered a not so good student (my prelims results was 33. if u think the higher the better you're wrong.. it's the lower the better)... i graduated from secondary sch with 14 points.. which is really by the grace of God (my dad says)..

and now in Interior Design.. my average grade is at least a B+.. i'm practically scoring alot of As... i consider this a success in the area of school. by the surest grace and mercies of God.. just today i did well in my crit..

anw so i've come to realise that this results... or any other for that matter does not determine the success and happiness of a person. cos the only true success is Jesus. the results does not determine our future. cos because of Jesus, our future is good.

besides the worse we are human speakingly, the more glory God is given when our good success comes. and our good success will come.

so praise the Lord for the good results. and especially for the bad... cos God's gonna do a mighty work in all the lives of the P6s... and mine too... that when people see, they will know that it's only God.

but anw i was just reminded again... if you're not satisfied with your current results.. go ahead! ask God for better.. thank you Jesus i want more good results.. and it will surely come.

no doubt about it.

my God is good.

2005-11-07T23:16:00.000+08:00

Blessed.. thank You Jesus.

i've realised that i'm the most undeserving human being in the whole entire world.

the past two nites i've been crying. no not over sad stuff. it's quite funny really. the first nite was cos i was thinking about how good my aunt was and how taken for granted she was and how much i appreciated her. and i cried. then last nite i was writing a card to my dad cos it's his birthday and i realised how for granted i took him too. and i cried. lol.

basic background: my family is celebrating alot this week. my dad's birthday (as i've mentioned), my parents anniversary, and my brother bryan's birthday. ALL IN ONE WEEK! so we had a party on sat. with my extended family. and my aunt is my father's younger sister.

i've come to realise the greatest blessing for a child is his/her parents being still together after all these years (25 for me) and still in love. and i'm so blessed. i have it! and the love has grown from glory to glory. my dad still is in love with my mum and my mum is still in love with my dad. and it's the love of God that rests on both of them. and i love it!

and i'm crying again. cos theirs is what has created a loving home for me. and i want it between me and my husband next time. amen. long lasting love touches my heart deep.

anw this is what the Lord has been teaching me. cos i'm born with (super)naturally good things. i have a solid home. i can spend on what i want without having to worry about cash flow. i am smart (lol i am). i'm pretty creative. i'm favoured. i have a personality i'm in love with (even if others aren't). i get to serve in a ministry that has blessed me. i get to travel. and there are alot of things i'm born with.

and the silly idiot that i am. i used to envy others who had it worse than me. partly cos i saw how in church i saw them grow quickly and i wanted that. and partly cos it's more dramatic. i love drama. i know i'm weird.

and u know how they always say when u don't have it, God can use you. i was like "but i have this! God why u give me? now ur not gonna use me.." and i tried for awhile to become less so that i could become more.

yet i felt stupid. cos i knew in my heart these could be used for God. and deacon Dan confirmed it for me. he told me that God can use me with all my gifts and talents. cos whatever i'm born with God has given me. even Pastor Prince said so. He said that the most undeserving is what you get from birth cos u can't work to get it. and tt's me.

thank God. when things come to you naturally. like math for me. cos it's from God. thank you Lord for everything you've given me so naturally. i've got it good.

and for those who don't.. for everything there's Jesus Christ. believe it and be blessed.

2005-11-03T21:32:00.000+08:00

charis in...

lol i'm slowly bringing my blog back to life... and i don't have much to talk about! hmmm.... my life's going great especially with all the public holidays. slow school week but it feels like i've achieved alot of work and rest. i think that's about all for now.. praise God...

oh ya and an observation about guys (during my digital photography class - something really interesting that i can take up and get results for and it's fun and relaxing. poly rocks). actually some girls too lah but more about guys who don't have Jesus yet.

there are only two types.
those who are nerdy-looking and talk alot about themselves and think they are cool.

and

those who aren't nerdy-looking and talk alot about themselves and think they are cool.

it's quite strange.

anw if there's any topic anyone wants me to write about let me know. i haven't put my creative writing skills to much use. and i'd much rather write about other things.

2005-10-31T08:12:00.000+08:00

1st day back at school

welll........ lol my blog has been quite dead for awhile eh? so here i am to resurrect it...

anw it's the 1st few minutes of me stepping back into sch... and all i hear is laughter and moaning...

kinda don't want to be back here cos my good friend is gone and i'm not sure if he's coming... i have no idea where my other friends are... but ok it is good in Jesus name...

Jesus be my enjoyment

charis it's good

2005-10-01T14:04:00.000+08:00

weeooowheet!... i'm quite mad abt these two shows... pride and wangzibianqingwa... arh! but i can't really watch the wang zi one cos of night time stuff... and the vcds are so ex! anyone wants to bless me with the wang zi one... feel free haha!

2005-09-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

a really good day filled with divine favour..

praise Jesus... today i had an amazing day.. (lol i haven't blogged for awhile).. anw firstly b4 this, i got an A for design studio.. the highest in the class which is amazing cos my friends worked far higher than me and i'm the only A..

well i got my result for InTech (some detail/kitchen thing which i avoid alot) and i got a B+!! and again... it's the highest... truly by the grace of God u noe cos half my class failed and everyone else got Cs and Ds... i'm the only B... +... lol praise God! Daddy really favours me man......

then i had a desk review with my lecturer... and the funny thing abt it was that my lecturer organised a little meeting with the rest of the lecturers about me... so that i can skip one part of my work! tt cuts down half my workload... and he said oh this is the best compensation we can give u... and i din even blame him abt anything!! wowowowow... praise God! anw i have another thing i want to talk abt soon.......

when i have time again :)

2005-08-31T16:29:00.000+08:00

have u seen the ice cream man?
(to be sung to the tune of have u seen the muffin man)

have u seen the ice cream man
the icecream man the icecream man?
who's cart's down holland road.....

this man put a smile on my face today by serving up a good rasberry ripple thing with 2 waffles on each side! TWO! ON EACH SIDE~!

it's so easy to make a girl smile. too bad i din have a camera.. thank you Jesus for a nice new one.

anw a little update... i love brazilian bossanova music!!!! and i love michael buble (as u probably already know).. a i have a nice new poster of him on my wall :) ok i'm more crazy abt his voice.

if u sound like him say hi... i'd love to be serenaded by such a voice!

2005-08-22T19:06:00.000+08:00

Swear it Again

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they're lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

Chorus:
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again
All over again

Some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying

Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are something's in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

Chorus

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
The more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I

Chorus

a song straight from heaven :)

2005-08-22T18:34:00.000+08:00

go-carting is super fun

it was a glorious weekend. :) i got to go to batam for 3 dollars. i'm really blessed.

and i went go carting.. like speeding like crazy talk about better than boys playing daytona and all those funny games at the arcade. lol. yeah i had alot of fun. and i've learnt how to play pool now.. :)

oh well.. to anyone who knows what the trip was for and stuff.. you're blessed even if u din go. as blessed as me! cos i'm really blessed haha!

:)

2005-08-22T18:24:00.000+08:00

charis do you have any talent?

oh my word what kinda qs is that? lol my classmate asked me today.. seems like they wanted to challenge me to go take part in Miss Singapore Poly. but i dunno i don't think i will.. lol. but praise God that my classmate thinks i can do it.

anw there's this competition on design for all the design schs in singapore. so it's a charity thing where you design for autistic youths a nice brand new classroom. whoever wins the competition gets recognition and bonus points lol and also the exposure to real designing. so each sch is to send a team of 5 of i quote "the most outstanding students".

guess what? i got selected!! praise GOD!!!!!!! it's amazing cos i'm like the least hardworking in this group of 5. but i've got the favour of God all over me.

really i pray each day my life continues to glorify God. that everything i do gives glory to God!

2005-08-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

charis' little survey

well there are kinda two things i would like to ask and see how it goes:

1) what kinda things are u looking for in singapore but can't find? (materially speaking)

2) need any help with ur home decorating? lol

i'm just asking... so feedback would be nice. even if u chanced upon this. just leave a comment at the bottom ok? thanks :)

2005-08-15T21:57:00.000+08:00

yo mama is so fat that..

the four funny ones i've heard so far.

yo mama is so fat that when she jump for joy, she get stuck!

yo mama is so fat that when she walk past the tv, i miss four shows!

yo mama is so fat that when she goes swimming in the sea, she and the whales sing, "we are family!"

and the last and funniest

yo mama is so fat that when she steps on the weighing scale, my handphone number shows up!

2005-08-15T09:19:00.000+08:00

throw out the bond woman! cos SARAH IS IN DA HOUSE!

lol actually it's more like throw out the bond voman. anw. lol pastor Aage (pronounced as as orgay) was really good. i really love norway altho i've never been there (i'm going to marry a norwegian jew). i'm really privileged cos i got to meet the youth pastors who are so cool. u noe the thing about being in the same camp the benjamites (grace ones), i really felt like he was family. and i received alot from him.

anw it's really in line with what i've been going thru. like quite a bit at least. anw background: in my interior design course, there are a couple of Christians. but i'll just talk about three. ok so there's me (haha! praise Jesus), a guy called roy who really has so much zest for God and is like totally involved in church, and another guy called hendry who doesn't really dare to admit he's a Christian.

so why the three. quite amazingly. by grace i'm under grace. roy is sort of a mixture thing (i learnt when i spoke to him today) and hendry is more law than grace.

b4 i start let me tell all sec sch students, the heart of God church rite if u get below 18 points for o levels u'll get an ipod shuffle! so go go go! and bring one more back for dora ok she wants one.
(i'm not being sarcastic but might as well go get rite)

before i start let me just say i'm not knocking anyone i'm just illustrating from real life. i'm not saying i'm perfect. cos it's by grace that i'm under grace and i pray that God show them too.

anw let's start with the more law than grace one, ok he's v self effort. like he has to do things really well by his own effort otherwise he gets really angry and stuff. like if somethings slowing him down he gets really cranky and starts banging the stuff against the table. came to a point his second best guy friend who's also my second best guy friend told me he was rather scared of him. yeah and sorry to say this but he doesn't really like dare to admit that he's a christian unless ur a christian. and he picks up alot of the bad stuff my other classmates do. again i'm not knocking him it's illustration ok?

then there's roy. i was just sitting next to him today. he's really passionate for God. like he was drawing up his timetable for this week and practically every day it's about going to church to help out in something or other. and their youth min there is quite big too (i think abt dare size) surely by grace. but we kinda came to one topic where we couldn't agree on. cos he was said " i feel really upset when i see the pastor having altar call and people walk out. u noe wad it means? these people don't fear God." i was like shocked! i mean ok it happens in new crea too but our deacons always just remind us and stuff for the benefit of the unbornagain children of God. i was really shocked when he said that so i said but it doesn't matter that much cos God still loves these people even if they don't fear him, and he said yeah but there's still judgement. huh?? i was like there's no more judgement!! anw it's abt revelation. if they don't understand that then it's no point telling them. i mean in ncc too rite it happens, but we don't shoot them down (except maybe that one time pastor said all of you who leave now will go to hell. but he was just joking). yeah and he believes that tho we're saved by grace we have to work towards the standard of God. after being in new creation for quite a bit of time, that's like bondage to my ears. i felt like the devil trying to grab hold of my liberty in Christ and put me back under the law again. i mean again i say i'm not all there yet. there are still alot of things i'm learning. but again i say by the grace of God what ever i've fallen short His grace is sufficient.

as for me, i'm just Daddy's precious child. the one He loves the most.

lol i think they're prob thinking the same thing as me poor charis(roy/hendry) here thinks she's can live the way she does without a doubt in her life(with the law).

fact is: i can. praise Jesus!

i'm really blessed to be in newcreation under pastor prince.

but as well as welcoming the prodigal younger son, the Father loved the older son as well and he did say everything was his as well. so i'm learning to love them as well. i just kinda feel sad for them that i don't have to do a thing for God for Him to love me, but they feel they have to achieve his love and they shouldn't get Him angry. how can that be the good news?

but honestly then again there are really passionate youths out there who live in the house with abraham, sarah, isaac, AND hagar and ishmael. according to my dad (who used to be in a mixture church), he told me that why pastor prince and pastor aage actually became grace preachers is also because of the way they asked God. he says that normally in a brethren church, they'll do everything, plan all night long and stuff, then ask God to bless not so much asking God what to do. so see how good my God is? He still blesses. always and always.

yeah.. we're all in this together afterall.

throw out the bond voman! cos SARAH IS IN THE HOUSE! :) grace amazing.

2005-08-13T00:24:00.000+08:00

the blessing of knowing how blessed you are..

i think the greatest blessing after knowing Jesus is this. really. cos when u know how blessed you are you'll have much more added to u and u know how many blessings u have.

and really the more u hang out in the house of God (church, cg etc), they really remind you of how blessed you are.. and how many blessings u have. like the verse says: those who have shall be given more, those who don't have, even what they have shall be taken away.

quite a weird verse eh.. but it's true.. anw today was a good day. a day full of unearned favour and of not having to do a single thing and getting loads done.
-my classmate helped my plot my work ( in layman's terms print big which means having to go somewhere to do it)
-my lecturer did my work for me (seriously everything k)
-my lecturer helped me cut queue to reprint (seriously)
-a guy i hardly know in my course lent me his account and his computer (nice guy)
-the cute year3 guy who shares the workstation and computer with me cleaned the table for me (yes he's cute! haha)

amazing day.

anw the verse is really amazing. it's so profound and deep it's way beyond human knowledge. yet it's quite simple really. the cycle of grace sean calls it. seeing God's goodness in our life and acknowledging it brings on even more. the more we see the more we get. but sometimes it isn't that easy to see rite? yeah.. for me at least it's really being in the house of God. cos i've realised in my house (newcreationchurchrocks), my pastors and my cgl and my leaders really keep on reminding me how blessed i am, no matter how lousy i'm feeling i always feel good after a time in church.

and i realise that as i keep coming more and more the messages are really specifically for me. somehow somewhere during the service i'm touched or i learn something so valuable it changes me forever. and i know it has to do with expectations. God always meets mine and much more. He's that good. and He loves me :)

2005-08-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

the difference between law and grace (i want kids under grace!), Christ in me my peace and good success (no longer afraid of days to come lol), new printer/scanner (grace again) and other things...

again i haven't been blogging for awhile.. but b4 i explain why i have to say this. if u don't understand the title, read on.. and know that my God (and urs if you're Christian or a Jew) is goood... of cos much more to come. some things haven't manifested yet..

k so the reason why i haven't really been blogging is because my [nice] lecturers gave us a long list of things to submit by monday. and til today i was stuck with the first one. but anw now i'm blogging bcos God is good. and bs was good too lol (just read on).

so let me start with national day, a boat called the white rabbit, lots of funny women who love to dance and sing (my mum's colleagues), quiet husbands, young children, (no one my age), a crew, a cute tall waiter and a delicious buffet. but my night was made by the two cutest guys i ever met in my life. gentlemanly and all. my dream... children.lol. meet aaron,8, and keith,4. i am in love with keith's smile. when he smiles, my heart melts faster than u can say "sooooo cute!".

i tell you these two kids are smarter than any other kid u've ever come across. keith can tell u anything and he will ask alot of questions (what happens to the boat when the string snaps?). basically he's not one of those kids u HAVE to try to think of a game to entertain them cos he'll entertain u. let me tell u this kid didn't have to be told who the waiter was to know who the waiter was. he needed a fork to indulge in the lovely american cheese cake i was eating so this tiny tot who's as tall as my waist went up to the cute waiter (who's at LEAST 1.9) and tapped him on the leg and got him to get him a fork. then he happened to drop his chewed up sweet on the floor being way too excited and went to get the same waiter to pick it up for him. haha!

when we were walking back to the carpark, there's this long path back where it's water on both sides (one side has a rail the other doesnt) and his mum kept walking towards the water side cos she was trying to talk to my mum yet walk ahead. and this sweetheart kept telling his mummy to walk inside and when she got pretty near (not that near) to the waters he let go of my hand and pushed her back to the side of safety. and all the girls go "awww!!".

aaron is a real cool guy. for an 8 year old he's really sociable and witty. witty really. when he first came, my mum introduced his mum to my dad, and after my dad shook his mum's hand, aaron stuck out his hand too! but my dad din see. BUT aaron tapped him on the shoulder and introduced himself. i was impressed! good kid this one.

this is like the length of a normal blog entry. but i don't care. it's only the beginning.

their mum, karen, is really cool too. she's this ex mgs girl. really nice. actually i thot she looked rather homely at first (not as pretty and fashionable as some of the other ladies there). but she's really cool. witty. funny. pretty vibrant. but not really like loud or anything. and this is the thing. the way she corrects her children is really amazing (she's a christian :)). aaron and keith being boys are active but unlike most boys, they're extremely well behaved. the way she teaches them u know she loves her kids yet she's not overbearing and puts like strict rules on them. she jokes with them teases them. i want to have a relationship with my kids like this next time. and i want sons like keith and aaron (i've thot of some nice boys names i'm gonna name my kids.. sorry guys i hope i don't scare u but oh well).

but there was another mother there for privacy purposes (or rather bad example) let's call her msD ( i can't call any of those ladies aunties they're all way too young). she also has two sons who are really cute too. but unbelievably unbelievable. ok maybe they've been thru alot for such young ages (10 and 7), their parents are separated and stuff. but woah this momma is strict. like don't do this don't do that. and unlike karen she'd much rather hang out with her friends than with her kids (karen manages both i know not how). well she's been thru alot too. but anw her older son is soo toned down like bored and lifeless while the other one keeps getting himself into all sorts of trouble although he's another smart kid.

so kids (and parents), law doesn't work. grace and love does. and when there's grace and love, it's makes a pretty amazing relationship.

ok on to the next thing.. yeah... as i was saying today's thursday. and my submission is on monday. so basically cos i have alot to submit i was really stressed and totally inefficient and ineffective. wasted 4 days on one thing. was really contemplating whether anot to go for bs. knowing it means a couple of hours less sleep. but praise God. as much as the message was for everyone (that's what they all sayy), it was really for me. lol. deaconess lian preached about Christ IN ME the hope of glory. and extracted from the story of gideon. IDENTIFY yourself with the finished work of Christ as how Jesus did with our sins that He became sin. and that's how hearing becomes having. it really gave me peace in my heart. and like even tho i don't really know if i can finish and still not look like a zombie, i'm no longer worried and frustrated and sighing all the time (seriously!). so today charis has become good success, wisdom, fast hands, favour, energy, beautiful skin and much more. all because Christ is in me.

honestly i'm still slowly being convinced. as much as my spirit leaps, there are still a couple of slight worries. but i shall continue to meditate. watch this space cos my project submission and crit isn't here yet. so more testimonies to come.

really spending time in the house of God makes a world of difference.

next a gift by the grace of God. my printer/scanner thingy. yesss :) like i said it's another story. but i've mentioned this b4 (my other thing that i desire hasn't manifested yet) but this was one thing i really needed and wanted.
and to cut a long story short,
i waited too long.
i used self-effort.
it didn't work.
i gave up.
i asked God to take care of it.
and one weekend after BOOM! new printer scanner.

God has a funny sense of humour but He's still really good. to me.

ok as for the other things i can't rem wad i wanted to say. praise God also lol.

project success here i come.. and next week IT'LL BE OVER!

2005-08-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

this pic is like wayy overdue... the beloved SPCA! super programmes committee action only! and melvin the foodman.. see some forced smiles.. lol anw praise God for new scanner/copier/printer. GOd is good. but tt's another story... i miss this comm sooo much

2005-08-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

4 things i've learnt this week.

i think i've been learning stuff. otherthan the usual nonsense like fatherhood and stuff today is serIOUS stuff. :) finally.

lessonONE: selfishness is not a virtue.

i have this certain classmate (whomidon'tcaretomentionwho) who is the most selfcentred GUY i've ever known. yeah guy you know oh my word! so let me tell u what he does. let's say we're walking towards a door and he's right in front, he'll stop and let us girls walk (even tho he's RIGHT in front of the door) and open the door. it's not even ungentlemanly. it's selfish. and when he borrows things he makes them sound like you owe him something and i told him that when he borrows he should use the word please and know what he said (believe me i wouldn't have told me if i ever heard that word come out of his mouth)? he said i know how to say please. i use it when i return the thing. like will you please take it back? oh my LORD! and he never helps anyone like if you ask "how do you draw a perspective?" he'll say "just draw lor" and doesn't bother to help. but when he needs help he expects u to tell him everything to the details. (actually amazingly the list goes on.. but i'll stop here)

i've never met anyone or GUY as a matter of fact soooo selfcentred.

what's worse for him tho is our (as friends) mentality towards him. because he's this way, we just can't lend him anything. like if you give him one sheet of paper you want him to return a clean sheet immediately. i thot i was the only one being picky and like miserly towards him but i knew it couldn't be me since i could lend things out like mad. but to him it's like tough, i can't lend. then i found out and noticed that all his friends were like that to him too! like they'll ask for every cent back immediately. but with like others it's like "oh ok take ur time lah"

so i've learnt when you just chase what you want and be selfcentred it's not good. cos not only is YOUR mentality small and poor, even you're friends around you will be the exact same way to you and you alone.

lessonTWO: never take things for granted. say thank you.

tonight i went for bs and i had to sit behind a pillar and along the path where everyone walks (lessonthree). so there were 3 people next to me. a chinese (from china) guy and two lady friends who look quite abit older than this guy. so this guy (who reserved the seats for them) came to sit next to me and i heard him say, "are the seats ok?" and after awhile of talking he said "oh i'm sitting here cos the camera man is blocking this seat so you get better views" and i was like awwwwwww... but u noe wad??? one of the ladies was like "aiya i should have gone to sit with my other friend. i hate this seat. i don't like having pple walk past me during service" and not a word of thanks. but i guess she was tired. she looked like she was on the verge of cranky which is a mode i go into when i'm tired too.

i guess it's clearer to see from the outside but i think it's so impt to say thanks even for something so small like reserving seats. and it's not cos if he din do it for you u'd be sitting in the overflow? so it's really a privilege. so i'm gonna learn how to say thank you from now onwards.

lessonTHREE: Jesus is behind the pillar too.

so i was behind the pillar and i couldn't see adeline lead worship i couldn't see anything. but God taught me :) He asked me what does the pillar look like to you? i said like a problem. and God asked and what do you have with you now? and He said your bible and your tongues.

even when we're at a road block, God is there with us and it's as easy to reach Him as opening your mouth. and i noticed as much as i couldn't see a thing, i could hear. faith comes by hearing of the word.

i've been learning to open my clamped jaw too and pray in tongues. Daddy constantly reminding me praise God :)

God came and met me again tonight during bs but i'll save tt.

lessonFOUR: don't expect guys to be gentlemen. they disappoint.

girls am i or am i right? i am. yeah.. i've been thinking abt this. i think i've grown so accustom to having extremely gentlemanly guys around me (well done DARE and CAMPUS guys! all guys who grow up in the house of God are amazing) that i forgot there were guys who weren't. like lessonONE. so i'm learning still to not look to them. but if you ever happen to get "corrected" by me don't think i'm like being imposing or expect or what. i mean if you don't hold the door for me (see i din say open ah.. if you open the door for yourself at least leave it open for me to catch the handle rite) or help me carry my heavy load, really it doesn't matter (thank you Jesus in your name amen!), but it in a sense doesn't really reflect v well on you. cos gentlemanliness is about initiative. but no condemnation. afterall man fell cos of adam. so it's no surprise.

i'm kidding... we're all growing in Christ. i'm learning to not expect. but guys.. if you aren't gentlemanly you'll never find a gorgeous girlfriend who is like me obviously. girls are way too smart and sensitive to waste time. (Godly girls anw..)

so four lessons in one night. i'm definitely taught by God Himself.

you too yeah.

2005-08-01T18:05:00.000+08:00

u noe wad? i really can't believe 3dash1 won the sch of rock. cos the funny dude second from the left mr ashik (there are only 3 members and they are the three on the left) sits next to me in class!!! so cool... congrats 3dash1.. so proud!! haha.. anw it's a good thing too cos i've realised that he's really living his dream.. and i have my Daddy God.. how much more for me.. yeahhh.... anw ashik don't get too busy... otherwise i'm taking over ur table as well...

2005-07-31T14:45:00.000+08:00

the beautiful trio's stayover.. it was fun :)

2005-07-31T13:51:00.000+08:00

two things i've learnt over this weekend.

there are 3 things that make a man: national service, fatherhood and Jesus (without Jesus it's impossible).

photoshop is girls' new best friend.

2005-07-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

Let me be your wings
Let me be your wings
Let me be your only love
Let me take you far beyond the stars
Let me be your wings
Let me lift you high above
Everything we're dreaming of will soon be ours

Anything that you desire
Anything at all
Everyday I'll take you higher
And I'll never let you fall

Let me be your wings
Leave behind the world you know
For another world of wondrous things
We'll see the universe
And dance on Saturn's rings
Fly with me and I will be your wings

Anything that you desire
Anything at all(Anything at all)
Everyday I'll take you higher
And I'll never let you fall

You will be my wings(Let me be your wings)
You will be my only love
Get ready for another world of wondrous things
We'll see the universe
And dance on Saturn's rings
Heaven isn't too far
Heaven is where you are
Stay with me and
Let me be your (You will be my) wings

this is my fav love song. and it's from an animated cartoon from 1994 called thumbelina. good good show. :) 11 years this song has been stuck in my head

2005-07-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

i wonder..
surely you've been seeing this around lately? our singapore postcards and ads for singapore national day. about races.. about family.. about friends. but did you notice a particular age group missing? yeahhh.... the youths!! and young pple! wassup mannn.... feel so discriminated against.. if you think abt it it's like weird. i think singapore's youths are pretty cool (ok specifically where i come from newcreationchurch&othersiguess). singapore singapore.. pls be proud of your youths. i think alot of them need assurance and love.

2005-07-28T16:05:00.000+08:00

akon- lonely

a cute song :)

2005-07-26T09:42:00.000+08:00

double jeopardy

last nite they showed double jeopardy on tv.. actually i wasn't planning on watching it cos it's not really a romantic comedy and it's supposed to be a thriller of some sort, but when the time came to watch it i just decided to. ok i missed like the first half of the show.

anw the story goes like this. there's this woman called libby parsons and she's married to a guy called nick parsons, has an adorable son and has a good friend. so she thinks.

one day she wakes up to find that her husband has been "murdered" and that she's covered with blood and all evidences point to her being the murderer. because of this, she has to give up her son to her friend for adoption and her friend and her son disappear suddenly. because all the evidences point to her as much as she is innocent, she has to go to jail for 6 years plus parole and all that. so her friend in jail tells her about the theory abt double jeopardy where she can't be tried twice for the same crime if she kills her husband now since she's already been tried. but all she wants now is her son. so she keeps looking for him but her parole officer (tommyleejones) and her husband keep preventing her from doing so. her husband even tried to kill her by putting her into a coffin and sealing it up. but finally her parole officer believes her and helps her confront her husband but a scuffle begins and her husband ends up dead. (sorry it's long and unparagraphed. it's just for pple who want to know the jist of the story)

all along pastor has been talking about double jeopardy.. and now i get it.. if you want to get it, i think this is a really good show to watch.. cos it got me thinking how Jesus has to endure all that and worse (death) to find me and be with me again. quite amazing.

i give this show 4 popcorns!

2005-07-22T15:58:00.000+08:00

the more you think you know, the more you realise you don't know.

2005-07-20T14:55:00.000+08:00

great great amazing grace...

today was really filled with the favour and surest mercies of God..

recently i've been less than motivated to do any of my sch work.. just feel like slacking all the time.. esp this morn when i went to sch.. i was so so soo nua... just sat there and felt like stoning. but it was quite a like horrible feeling so i asked God.. in an extremely whiney way to motivate me today. and praise the LORD (you have to hear me say this out loud) He did. again. and again. again.

so i was just sitting there when suddenly i don't know what hit me and suddenly i started labelling my work fast and furious. i got my pics scanned in (thank u Jesus for a scanner and a3 printer at home) and scoured a magazine for ideas and then went to see my lecturers for suggestions for my project. here's where it all begins..... (huh u mean it hasn't?)

so jonathan looks at it and goes this is what i'm talking about. good good good. and faris joins in and says not only have i managed to catch up for the two weeks i missed but it's really fantastic that my project is going so well... and on and on... (really) i was so embarrassed at the end by all the comments that i just said thanks.

then suddenly a classmate i've never talked to ever in my life start asking me abt my project. and jonathan goes over to him and tells him how good mine is. and while everyone is staring in awe at who knows what in my project jonathan comes along and tells everyone "this is the standard for what you're supposed to be doing. should be near this"

then faris and jonathan show another lecturer sabrina my work with my perspective. and she thinks it's good stuff.

so i was really motivated lol :) truly by grace and mercy alone. praise GOD!

draw me deeper into your grace....

2005-07-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

to my best 2 guy/gal friends in class ashik and zy (when they weren't sure i mean look at their hair! so long thank God they cut it): eat ur hearts out fellers! i beat u both in puzzle bobble (date to commemorate:18/07/05). lol still dare to say i'll never beat u guys? i did it in 3 levels :) cheers and see ya tmr!

2005-07-17T14:15:00.000+08:00

Missing adventure camp

alot of things to say so i'll categorise yeah..

yest the leaders organised an appreciation dinner for us with games in the afternoon. it was really sweet of them and i've come to realise that the leaders just have so much heart for us. they didn't have to but they did. we din need to have it but we did. what a privilege to serve and have leaders like that. praise God. what a God!

actually the event started early at 1 pm. but somehow alot of pple couldn't make it. and tchr jason let out that the teachers really planned games and all and even prizes (there was really no need)! even water. even a van to put our stuff. even little paper mache balls so that we could play a good game of dodgeball (so sorry abt the head butt tchr beth). well it was really good and we got 2 bond with the laoshis over games of frisbee and dodgeball and blading (another story altogether read on!). thank you teachers!!!!!

yeah and we had this proper closure to camp. and i felt quite sad. haha! as in i really miss camp. i noe my experience was different in many ways from everyone else's (of cos everyone's is different) but mine was great. and lifechanging. and i have many good memories of it. sentimental tchr hee jhun puts it. well yeah i am. if i could do it all over again, i would. with the same excellent souls. so i really miss camp. can't wait for the next! cos it'll be even better. hmmm yeah.....

Blading.... :) and my revelation

so as i've mentioned i went blading with bry, tchr peer and tchr jason.. initially i was really thinking of not doing it cos the last time i seriously embarrassed myself by going super duper slow and unsteadily and falling down and acting like an idiot. but i really wanted to do it.. besides water i love blades (like iceskating and stuffs). so i went for it.. and at first i was really wobbly and the slowest. and at the end i was racing my brother down east coast as if we were extremely pro. we did weird stunts like the figure 8 thing. the train thing (of cos my brother pulling me). using our weight to keep pulling each other forward. acting like mannequins on wheels while going down slope. and doing brisk walking actions on skates. lol.

it really wasn't practice or like what. but i realised that once i stopped looking at the ground and looked up, my balance just got better and i could start speeding and i looked quite pro haha! yeahh... and that's my revelation.. don't look at the ground at the dust look at the Christ in you! which leads me on to the next topic for today......

Pastor Prince's sermon: Christ in me the hope of glory.

i think i had an entry on the meaning of hope before. but today Pastor really opened it up so much more. as we behold Jesus it's like beholding Jesus in a mirror and we see Him in us. like when we're sick, we see Him well IN us and as we see we become.

one thing that really struck me about Christ in me was that Christ is IN me. deep i noe. but really the thing is that Pastor mentioned that it's something Elijah, Moses and the prophets spoke of but did not know what this mystery was really all about. and me so undeserving (i mean i don't have millions of pple who know my name from bible ages, i din get to split the red sea n have a cartoon movie in my name).. but it's a mystery that has been revealed to me. that Christ is in me the hope of glory. He's not just with me He's in me. everything i need (i suppose i could say this) is in me already. so so SOOO privileged. i'm just dumbfounded by the amazing mercies and wisdom of God. i mean who on earth would think of such a thing? IN me. believe it.

and all the saints wish they were living in our day and age where Jesus is in them. and here i am (here we are) and we have it. even david envied the times to come when "their sins and lawless deeds He would remember no more".. i finally get it.

i'm blessed. blessed beyond description. blessed beyond anything i could ask for.

my Daddy loves me

2005-07-14T19:25:00.000+08:00

curves aren't only sexy to men.

they're sexy to lecturers too.

well. i had a good day :). today we had to submit a piece of work at 8 am sharp. and horror of horrors! i reached sch and i din bring my work! actually i lost it. i thot it was in sch so i din bother checking at home but it wasn't there! so i told my lecturer and (favour happened) and he gave me til 10 to do it. a good 2 hours. which was more than enough time.

then, we had a pinup at 12. which was although optional it always looks good to have something. and all my classmates had pretty nice plans which were ALL plotted (which means done on computer) and sections (just read on if you don't noe wad these are.. lol). and i only had one plan. which was still at the hand-drawn level. seriously curves are really tough to draw on the computer. if i can get a pic up i will soon.

BUT i had the best review.

my fav lecturer jacq: WOW! this is really exciting! it's fantastic, sexy.... and on and on... :)
my other fav lecturer faris: don't tell her that. make her keep working on it.. :) :)
johnathan: this in 3d modelling will look really sensuous
dinah: wow! this is really good!

amazing... i wasn't even expecting much... and i was really put in a spot. it was like when they walked past everyone's they were alright but when they came to mine the reaction was amazing! praise God. cos i have the favour of God and this God loves me.

anw my other story is that sp is getting weirder and weirder. first a preg classmate, next a pda of something so disgusting i won't even say it, and third a suicide attempt. Jesus protect my school and all in it. amen.

really really loved by Daddy God.

2005-07-13T20:01:00.000+08:00

LOVE

was reading box's blog.. and she had this really interesting post of what is love for a child between 4-8.. some are full of wisdom.. here are a couple i like:

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 aw... i like this lil feller already! and u noe wad it's true..

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7 lol

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4 haha!

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8 totally..

"Love is when my Jesus came down and died for me, even when He knew i would break His heart millions of times." Amanda Bok - age 17 too wise already.

oh the last one is like 10 years too old.. but oh well lol.. blogs like hers make it easy to keep up my everyday blogging.

2005-07-12T19:37:00.000+08:00

blessed week

this week is blessed because my Daddy loves me.

and because it's blessed i actually end sch at 12 on 3 days! woohoo!

the world's alot brighter knowing the love of God for me.

2005-07-11T18:17:00.000+08:00

my dream guy

k i'm sappy i noe... and i doubt anyone would expect a post like that from me. but i just hafta!!! after watching "a walk to remember".. i'm inspired.

i want a guy like landon carter. as in not like like.. his looks are pretty alright ( oh my word charis is that all you go after?) funny u say that.. alot of pple have mentioned that.. well i mean if God can give me a guy that is almost everything i want i doubt looks are a problem..

actually what he did was to fulfill the wishlist (desires) of the girl.. and he went out to get her. and to her dad too. the two places at one time thing... arh!! and the tatoo... aww...

there are alot of guys i noe (or watched in movies) that have qualities i want in my future husband.. like matt in 13 going on 30 (that's another sweetheart), orlando bloom in pirates (hot hot), matthew mcsomething in lose a guy, raoul in phantom.. and the list goes on (all of cos unreal).. and in guys like my dad, my pastors, and the gentlemen around...

:) :) and it's not true that the more wants u have for your future husband, God has to strike off those who can't make it til there's none ok! (i still rem that silly shawn)

anw ok... that's all for today. it was a good day.. :)

tata. loved by her Daddy.

2005-07-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

wisdom in parents

i think i'm going to blog more frequently.. lol that is if i'm actually diligent enough... considering i use the com everyday and stuff... and having tons of opinions and thoughts...

i've prepared tmr's one... cos it's too unholy for a sunday. nah cos i haven't really completely put all my thoughts together on that...

well today sermon by Pastor Joshua was really good huh... linked up with teacher ron's one. no condemnation. no separation. from a wonderful God. who loves me. :)

anw b4 service i was just thinking about bgr.. for generally sec sch pple... (i'm not even gonna talk abt poly it's far too childish).. and i saw such wisdom in the things that my mummy dearest instilled into me in my preteen years..

sometimes u noe as a leader of such precious lives, you really don't want to see some things happen to them that happened to yourself. and you know that you really don't want them to fall into that sort of situation and u want to pull them out fast? well basically i've learnt that it's not possible. cos they won't learn anything... so it's really about trusting God.. and guiding them..

well yeah so i was looking back at the things my mum taught me... i used to hate it.. since i was 12 i think til about 15 i had about 20 of these talks. lol. seriously. she used to go on about how dating too young isn't good or neccessary. she said she thought 20 was a good age and i told myself "oh gosh! i'd be ancient by then! i think i'll have my first bf at 15" well 15 came and that din happen.. then 16 came and i really couldn't be bothered anymore. in the sense i was so happy being single (which i think is a much better reason than "oh cos my mum doesn't allow me" and i had to go think this over recently but praise Jesus i'm happy).

in retrospect, she din not allow me (ifyougetwadimean).. she din stop guys from calling or even coming over... and she cooked for them.. (this was when i was abt 16).. yeah i think she brought me up good lol.

and i also realised that when i go shopping with my parents they spend tons more than i do when i buy things.. i mean i buy lots but cheaper. they buy a few for me and it's like quite mad price wise..

so i've come to realise that parents are wise. they really know alot and have experienced so much and give the advice they do because of it. esp when they're Christian and they go to new creation church!! woohoo!!

deacon Chin once said parents were spiritual leaders and i firmly believe in that. after all they're the ones that God gave authority and pleasure to give birth to us, to bring us up, to take care of us. it's really wise to give weight to what they say cos it's really true and wise.

i understand not everyone has Christian parents. i've talked to a friend who told me about his fam life. and the thing i want to say is that whatever your family life is like see it as blessed (as blessed as mine and beyond. double portion amen) because we have the same Daddy. and you have your leaders in DARE :)

yeah... so. i love my parents.

hmm the last part just brought up another thought.. isn't it strange some things seem easier to trust God for? but i guess it's good too... we grow as we trust God..

2005-07-08T23:54:00.000+08:00

the importance of Godly friends, caregroup and God meeting me..

blessing: caregroup, Godly friends, and a God who loves me so intensely He ALWAYS comes down to my level.

i am really grateful to God for cg.. i noe in dare i have rhema which really rocks.. but there always comes a time and place where you need your own Godly group of friends your age you know what i mean? a couple of months back i had desire to go for campus cg.. for the main reason of making friends (no not with cute guys only) and just to receive and be a youth again.

i haven't really "been a youth" since i joined CREW (which was plainly called ushers then) and became a peer leader. not that i'm complaining, cos it's really a privilege to serve and an even greater one to serve as a leader. (Privilege vs Right)

and i suppose i also wanted something preached to my level. well at first it was quite weird going but somehow i always loved it (although i wasn't always really regular due to other commitments).. and before tonight's cg i was really excited about going.. like i really couldn't wait to go. i even pestered my cgl (sean who's really anointed) by messaging him a couple of times whether there was cg.

and i was just excited.

so when tonight came and p&w started, i just felt within me to just see Jesus. and i asked Him to meet me where i was ( i was lost), to shine light in my darkness. well darkness was really dark i couldn't see a thing. it wasn't like a dry period or anything it was more like floating. ok honestly i felt like i couldn't trust God for anything cos the things i wanted i wanted now. and i didn't want to wait for God (who can take really long sometimes but of cos it's the best time.. and when you do get it it was really worth waiting for) i'm not that patient. i mean if i want it and really God's taking too long i'll just get it myself.

except there are some things i really can't get myself no matter how hard i try. and being too impatient to wait i just blamed God for everything in my life. tell me to count the small blessings? nooo. they're not good enough.

and i got tired. tired from waiting. during p&w, i really felt the presence of God and as i asked him to shine the light in my life, sean my anointed cgl, suddenly called me and spoke over me (only me). and it was really the word in season for my life. i didn't even realise that i started tearing.. but after he said all that, God being ever faithful to me followed on and continued telling me things that i not only needed to hear but i wanted to hear.

really besides that, i've always wanted to be singled out of the crowd like "charis there's anointing all over you lift your hands i want to pray for you" and stuff and it never happened to me except once. so it happened and i'm so happy it did! (but my eyes stay put on Jesus)

and the cg message was again in season. i still remember last last season being that all things work together for my good. and last season being God covers my back. and this season is really God my Provider. which is what sean said.. except i din noe til he said it. cos i couldn't see it. and cg message was on knowing that i am the favourite of God. that means i'm no. 1. not no.2. and why it's so important.

i dunno why i was sitting there like emotions just running all over the place. feeling so refreshed and so happy and so amazed at Daddy's love for me.

He REALLY came to meet me!

i mean even in cg, expectations are important. when we expect out of God anything, now for a fact i'm sure God will surely meet me. and God will not only be the Provider (Jehovah Jireh) to my needs but He'll also be the Provider to my wants :)

signing out, the one Jesus loves.

the first mention of Jehovah Jireh is in Genesis when Abraham named a place that. and that amazing place was when God brought a ram just before he sacrificed Isaac - all about Jesus again.

2005-07-05T17:22:00.000+08:00

Back to school and now i know the world isn't all that bright and cheery as i knew it to be...

well... after ben gen and after adventure camp... it's time to go back to sch kids... for me sch actually started end may.. but praise Jesus for understanding loving parents who let me go for bengen and adventure camp.. and miss two WHOLE weeks of schoollll.. so sch has sort of just started nice and proper now... thank u Jesus for motivation as well to do my work...

anw i really miss ad camp... i miss working with my beloved SPCA (dora, johnny and brandon), the adult helpers (nice nice nice pple), tchr Jason.. and the whole group of lively extremely energetic campers (wad say you say i say til kingdom come)... and i really saw the way God worked... God moved it man... if you had seen behind the scenes u would noe wad i'm talking abt... but anw... i still miss it... can't wait for the apct dinner (thank you Deacon Dan) to meet all my lovely pple again and talk abt camp lol...

i miss bengen and rooming with denise and eating free room service with johnny and denise.

anw back to school is my topic and my topic it shall be for today... sorry for not updating i've been "jetlagging"... so my second consecutive week at sch i just found out one of my coursemates is pregnant! now that really shocked me. as in i see it on tv and hear abt it from frenz. but this is way too close to home for comfort.. and well she's gonna abort i hear...

in a sense i shouldn't be too shocked cos after reading the newspapers and hearing my classmates debate about this topic, i've realised that not everyone takes virginity that seriously. some people don't think it's all that important. my question is HOW CAN IT NOT BE!?!?!?!?!?!?

besides giving a biblical reason for it (which according to my christian lecturer is very good moral reasoning in itself), there are so many reasons... talk about self worth (which is really a whole lot more than just abstaining which i want to talk abt but some other time i guess).. about being safe...about moral values... about how you'd feel after you did it?.. about the wonderful things in life you could do while waiting... about waiting (waiting time is never wasted time)... and so much more... like intimacy of the wrong kind when you can't commit...

because i'm worth it (the wait i mean)... what an amazing tagline...

i guess i really have to say... it's a blessing to be in church and knowing how much Daddy God loves us...

my privilege.. because of Jesus.

the writer would like to mention as well that for all who read this and felt condemned, please do not feel condemned because there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. He's the God of another chance.

and also to all those too young and shouldn't be reading this... read til the third paragraph.. lol :) :)

2005-06-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

TO UR MA LINE.. lol my group... to take a look at other fotos go to my photos page.. can click on the side bar thing... :)

2005-06-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

SP CG!! victor, matthew, sean our cgl, timothy, alvenia, and me

2005-06-11T23:48:00.000+08:00

my beloved teacher val....

2005-06-11T23:47:00.000+08:00

beautifuls... but not all v jap... lol

2005-06-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

Jap Night at BenGen Camp!! woo hoo!!!! it was so great i was so blessed... the jap students here are griselda gorgeous, deborah babe, (charis hotbabe), kenneth hunk and desmond (is that ur name?).. i dun look too good but the rest look really dao!

2005-06-01T15:11:00.000+08:00

poly day 3: SP people are not matured at all

i was originally supposed 2 end sch at 3 pm today but my lecturer let us out at 1.30. cool! wow! but my class started at 1pm!

wad kinda class is that? so anw actually i could understand wad the lecturer was trying to do... he was trying to use the uni way of doing things like not marking attendance at all and instead of a 2 hour class he wants to cut it down to 1 hr..

but sp people can't handle such freedom. they were extremely rude and boisterous in class today.. how immature.. i nearly smacked the guy sitting in front of me and told him to shut up. he kept making rude remarks. i think i should have done it.

thank you Jesus u make this class good..

2005-05-30T17:30:00.000+08:00

first day of poly year 2: what was meant for evil became good

anw b4 i talk about school and my "THANK YOU JESUS I CAN'T DO W/O U" day... someone left a comment on my blog saying that i must be from new creation and wanted to look for the your fav name is Father song? it's by newsong and u can get it from newcreation rock book centre if you want the cd.. i can send to u but who are you? lol come say hi again ok??

k anw... my first day of school was quite mad.. as in i got quite discouraged and angry. well as it is i wasn't in the mood to go back to sch.. and i had to inform my lecturers that i was taking two weeks off.. going to bengen and then after that for the adventure camp.. and straight away they told me no. as if they had all the power to say no. i've already paid and i'm going.. but they were so discouraging! and told me that i would be missing out and not be able to catch up with everyone (WHICH I BIND IN JESUS NAME!)..

so now i'm supposed to let my director noe.. and let her approve which is rather strange considering that when u hand in a leave of absence form u only do it when u get back. so isn't that like not even asking for her approval anyway!? weird..

but i'm going to have alot (SUPER ABUNDANT MUCH MORE THAN I CAN HOPE FOR OR IMAGINE) favour with her in Jesus name!

praise God.. i was so upset that i just wanted to get out and not talk to anyone. fortunately they all left so i din have to go anywhere. but i let a couple of pple noe.. t val, charissa, and shijie cos he's helping me do up the letter and yongjie.. i was practically looking for yongjie (praise God for sch mates from church) and all of them were really encouraging... reminding me that my God loves me. that my God will take care of everything for me. and i really started to hear good things and it really changed the situation and my mind (talk abt metanoya).. it was fabulous..

and my lecturer asked me whether i managed to get it approved and he sounded quite concerned in a nice "i hope you can go" kind of way.. so praise God.. but i don't really care wad he says anw..

but i noe my God is good. i mean i'm not saying i'm looking to man or anything.. but really when you're down Godly support is so important.. it made such a difference.. reading an sms is much easier than reading the bible in class.. knowing that you have someone cheering you on is so precious. and when they point you back to God it's so much clearer to see.

so whatever the devil meant for bad against me God turned into good.. again lol

strike out devil. take a seat and shut up.

thank you Jesus!! ur the best..

2005-05-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

Beautiful mind... beautiful love story

well here i am at 1 plus in the morning and i can't sleep. i just watched a really good show. ok maybe it's also the teh tarik...

anw i want to talk about the show cos it's so good. it's like finding neverland, 13 going on 30, how to lose a guy in ten days and my list goes on..

so.

there's this man called john nash (oh did i mention it's a real life story?). and he's a genius. and he's a schizo. well he got married to this really beautiful lady. but what impressed me was not so much that she was really pretty, but what she did for her husband.

i'm not much into geniuses.. lol or weird stuff like extreme maths (i like math but not extreme intellectual kind) but love story? anytime man... yeah so this john nash became really crazed he thought he was seeing real people and he really scared his wife.

but alicia nash instead of running out on him like i would if i were her, stayed to take care of him and to help him become all the man that he could become. her whole youth was wasted taking care of him and only at the end when she was grey and old, did she see the change in her man. hmm... i want to be like that. behind my man all the way!

behind every great man, there is a woman. how true.

thank God i don't have my man yet.

usually i don't write like that. i think it's the teh tarik

2005-05-21T10:45:00.000+08:00

HOPE: confident expectation of good things, to anticipate with pleasure.

well actually been very dry lately. haven't been going to the word much... lazy i suppose. but u noe wad? praise Jesus that when we don't go we shouldn't feel condemned, we should feel hungry. so there i was in my near anorexia state. and after yesterday's really good msg by Pastor Prince, i decided to meditate on Christ in me, the hope of glory.

this morning when i woke up i decided to check what hope means. i've always known that hope is the confident expectation of good things but i read something really interesting. it said "to anticipate with pleasure".

i think down thru the ages the word hope has been diluted in meaning. people just say "oh i hope so".. all along i thought that hope was a really flimsy word like ok u noe i want this and i hope i can get it but it's probably no. like there's wish, then hope, then faith.

but hope is faith. it is a CONFIDENT EXPECTATION of GOOD. with pleasure. that's what makes me really happy. pleasure. lol. :) that is good.

and a few days back i was reading song of songs and it said "for your love is more delightful than wine". delightful i really like but today i went to check again and it said that more delightful has meanings like beautiful, best, better, bountiful, cheerful, at ease, merry, most pleasant, pleasing, pleasurable, precious, prosperous, ready, sweet. :)

my Daddy loves me :)

2005-05-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

Your Favourite Name is Father

Almighty God
Lord of all creation
Ancient of days
The Holy One
So many names You've given us to call You
But one remains
Your favorite name
[Chorus]
Your favorite name is Father
You love to hear Your children calling
You're there to catch us when we're falling
Your favorite name is Father
Eternal King
Alpha and Omega
Jehovah God
The mighty One
So many names You've given us to call You
But one remains
Your favorite name
[Bridge]
Abba Father
Holy is Your name
Abba Father
Holy is Your name

oh man... i love this song... cos my Daddy although He is everything the name He loves me to call Him is Father. :) i'm His beloved...

2005-05-06T11:34:00.000+08:00

quirky advertisment

guess where i found an ad for men's facial stuff?

in the sports section. lol.

2005-04-23T11:56:00.000+08:00

back home finally. starry night.

hellooooo i'm finally home. and i realised i almost couldn't rem how to hold the mouse! ok anw. yest was a blast. as i was leaving my cousin's house and walking towards the busstop i was crossing the road and on the side i was crossing to, there was this tall guy wearing sunglasses, hair shoulder length long and unruly, and he was wearing a singlet kinda top. he kept staring at me n i was wondering who this gay feller was. then when i walked past him i looked at him and guess who! qiwuru the chinese actor. oh my lord i got a shock cos he looked gay.

then i went to work and happen to come back from the toilet to see my mum's fren serving this tall african lady. so i took over since it was my stall. she bought 4 $29 belts! and she was like tall, elegant and pretty. looked like the one from the singapore fashion festival. definitely a model.

then at night.... i was serving two lady customers when we turned around and edmund chen was looking at our stuff! with another guy who turned out to be a singapore fashion designer. who i've kinda seen in our newspapers and stuff. so my customer boldly asked edmund chen where his wife was and stuff then said he was v handsome then he was like thank you thank you and shook her hand, her friend's hand and MY HAND! haha. oh my word. then the fashion guy came over and said to me "hey i'd like some of your stuff for our shows. do you sponsor?" like i was the boss. so i told him where to look for my boss and stuff. lol now beat that. one day man.

ok anw. i'm gladder to be home. it's been a really amazing week but nothing beats home. and having ur own lovely com and being in your fav comfort zone. :)

2005-04-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

another home, another job, another computer

oh my word.. i've tried to type stuff for the last 20 mins. now i really wish my cousin was showing off when he said his com was *fast in Jesus name*

1st time: my cousin wasn't kidding when he said his com was slow. darn. i wish he was kidding.
2nd time: my cousin REALLY wasn't kidding when he said his com was slow. darn. i REALLY wish he was kidding.
3rd time: thank you Jesus.

anw. i'm in another world altogether now. like i'm planets away from home, and i'm babysitting my cousin and friend. ok i'm exaggerating on both counts. i'm in thompson (it's really far from home tho) and my cousin is a sec 4 rugger. i'm just here cos he would be home alone if i wasn't. his fam's in australiaa.. n i wish i was there with them.

but my dad decided that i should start earning money instead of spending so much of it. or rather his. lol ok he doesnt want me to work but he din want me to go oz. :( but i noe he loves me even when he doesn't say it.

so today was my first day of work. as in really first day if you don't count the four days (not continuously) over my 18 years. yes. i'm proud of the fact i now can say i'm not a silly rich girl who spends loads on her daddy's money and asks her Daddy for more. haha. rite. i'm tired. the com is *fast in Jesus name*. ok so anw i'm working at specialist's shopping centre. come drop by and bring at least 100 buckaroos to spend on my stall ok? thanks to all who do that. well it was really tiring and i had to continuously listen to lindsay lohan sing about how she hates people spreading RUMOURS about her (for real? i mean if you don't want people to talk about you shut up then! and stop singing that gross song! no offence but 10am to 9:30 pm is WAY too much) and she kept sobbing in another song over the fact that she and her boyfriend are thru. sorry girl that hunky dude belongs to me now. it's OVER for you at least. yes 2 songs the whole day! oh my LORD! please Daddy change tmr's adverts......... anw work is ok thank you Lord for more favour that pple shall buy without me having to talk at all. amen!! and no more bargaining! amen!!! (notice the no of !)

anw that's all for my complaining. there are two to three things i'm really happy for: my cousin's new maid who cooks fantastically and who serves me food all the time. FREEDOM. and for making money so that i can now buy my beautiful ZARA SKIRT (not that i don't have money actually that is a testimony in itself. but cos it's not worth it price wise so i din want to use my dad's money. and i was thinking how on earth was i gonna get it and someone offered me this job that is paying more than i could wish for for a job considering this is my first)!!!! hallelujah! beautiful zara skirt here i come.

God is good.

2005-04-09T22:38:00.000+08:00

God's grace is more than sufficient for me

hmmm this thing that i'm about to share is something personal. but i'd like to share it so that you'd know that i'm not all there. i have my weaknesses as well. and this is my testimony for the glory of God.

i went out recently (on wed in fact) with my two precious darlings denise and lydia. well a brief history is that recently i had been feeling very jealous. very left out on many occasions. and i felt extremely unloved by even my two "best friends". since a couple of months back, insecurity hit me real hard. and i noe now that i didn't have to go through all that but i allowed the devil to plant thoughts. and the more he planted the more i believed that they were my feelings. so actually alot had passed and i thought i was ok already cos alot was better. but as we went to watch a movie i had a feeling of dejavu with this disgusting insecurity. disgusting is just a nice way of putting it.

so i went home and i actually felt so insecure. that i just wanted to blabber it all out on my com but guess what. my com screen broke down so i couldn't use my com! wad a day. (actually it wasn't a bad day it was good until i felt that gross feeling again) so i had to use my "dear daddy diary" which i haven't been using. as i read my entries while listening to music on the shuffle tears just came to my eyes until i was practically bawling. and i felt so fake so unreal. when i wrote in my diary about some situations, i felt that i wasn't being real when i looked back, cos i just tried to comfort myself everytime but God was always there to meet me.

well so i flipped to a new page. let me be real here (after all this IS my blog), and as i drenched sheets after sheets of tissue paper, i wrote what i really felt. i was lonely. i was sad. i was scared that slowly i was dying inside. that the real me was running away from me. i was scared of losing the bubbly me, the crazy outgoing person that i was. i felt lost in a whirl of being the old me, of being lonely of being broken. ever felt like you were holding on tightly to something and couldn't let go being so afraid?

but God's restoration is ABOVE creation. i told God, "i don't care anymore. i have no strength left. if you want, YOU chase me." if grace is really God doing everything and i don't do anything, good. cos i'm not going to do anything. God You do it. and i let go of the rope. through that night i just knew that God's hands were right below the rope that i was clinging so tight to. that if i let go, i'd be safe. but i couldn't let go til i finally did, i thought my whole world came crashing down. i'm not exaggerating. it was THAT bad.

now i'm proud to say God met me. God came directly to where i was, and loved me. During bs, my own time with Him, God just restored me and restored me. i didn't go to Him. He came to me. now that's grace. and during bs, pastor just said that whatever we were going through just lift it to God and it was so apt for me. i told God (come to think of it without even a bit of shame lol), YOU be my strength, my security. and i can say He has. now all i want in my life is to glorify Him.

i've never experienced grace so much before. it sucks that it had to hurt but i've come to know that my God can be depended on. and that i don't have to convince myself that He loves me, but when i become real with Him, He becomes real to me.

Grace is really all about God doing and us just resting. Even if we threw our cares out into the deep, God will still fetch it back and hold it in His hand and and love you and deal with the care for you. i want with all the days of my life to experience this kind of grace DAILY and being aware of the grace that sees me through each and every day. i want my life to overflow this kind of amazing grace.

tonight i was just talking to immanuel about God and i couldn't help but feel like a girl in love. Jesus put a smile on my face!

2005-04-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

a new revelation on Jesus and Peter.

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! praise Jesus! as you all know (ok now you noe) the story of peter has always made a deep impact on me for a reason that stands above the rest. because i make stupid mistakes like peter.

aw sorry for the interruption my daddy just make lemon syrup for me... aw....

k so back to that.. i make stupid mistakes like peter. i boast of myself like peter (in Jesus name that's like all past) and i don't have a habit of resting on people's (namely Jesus) bosoms. for the sake of my easiness reread that and change all present tense to past. praise God.

the best is that Jesus loves me. lol which is why when i fall He personally comes to pick me up. like peter.

ok so tonight i went for my campus cg FINALLY. praise God cos it was really His timing and His confidence that make me feel not awkward. it was the first time for alot of pple as well including our new cgl and stuff so praise God. imagine if i hadn't gone! i would have missed this new revelation on my beloved peter story!

ok so the cgl, steven, was pointing us in the direction of peter and his denial and what happened after. i was so happy. so anw someone asked a qs. then sean, the new cgl soon, shared this (which had actually been sort of stopped me from getting full revelation of the story): the part you know Jesus asked Peter, "do you love me?" the love there is agape. which is the God kind of love. divine love. and peter replied "yes Lord i love you" the love there is NOT agape!! oh my LORRDDD!!! do u noe when i heard that i got so excited!!!!!! argh!!!! the love there was philia which is a platonic kinda love. love for a friend thayer's says.

and all three times Jesus asked him it was agape. but peter could only philia the Lord. then at the end peter said "Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee" in my translation (or rather sean's since he said it) "Lord you know that the only love for you is as a friend". i went mad. haha. sort of. u noe me i keep cool outside then when u really noe me i go mad. praise God. and Jesus said follow me.

as i was waiting for my dad to pick me up i was reading the last part and peter looked at john and said how about john? knowing that john had done the right thing at the right time and he had not. and Jesus said "If I desire him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me." in my translation that says, "why are you comparing? what does that matter to you? YOU (YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU) follow me."

now if you read the story this way, it flows so much better. at least it has for me. i was wondering all along why on earth did Jesus ask peter if he love him? wouldn't that be boasting in himself again? praise God for revelation. ok so it wasn't mine. but doesn't matter. lol. anw i also learnt another thing so so sooo important that really made an impact. if Jesus says i can move a mountain, then i can. just believe. do i really believe it? (honestly i don't). so i'm learning too i noe. and i learnt that sometimes it's the smallest things. like when we don't get something, we disqualify ourselves by being envious and act as if we haven't gotten it by the same Daddy God who gave it to that person. thank you Jesus you teach me. by grace. no other way but grace for me amen!

2005-04-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

dare2play, praise Jesus and the pope

thank God for holidays. two months finally. ok i shall start with the least impt thing again. haha. it's like when i don't write i don't write for a long time but when i do i write really long. God bless you readers.

anw, firstly and least impt i think benjamin bratt is cute. after watching miss congeniality (i love (looking at) cute guys lol). woo!

ok on to the praise Jesus thing. i got an ipod shuffle! praise GOD! i dunno how. but my dad (God is Daddy. my dad i usually call pap but i can't really call him that here now can i?) got it for me. oh and another thing i actually got a "job". haha. me the princess heiress who has not worked more than a week in her entire life. finally praise God and it's jewellery!! how cool is that. my fav clothing article now. anw it was like my mum's fren asked me if i wanted to do it. actually i'm kinda in it for working experience. n being happy about spending my own cash (tho not alot except like commission). i don't do that very often (none in fact) so i'm really happy Daddy God is teaching me some responsibility stuff and all.

ok now to the pope. with all due respect. i mean we're all precious in Daddy's eyes. it just so happened the pope was the pope. anw i was just reading around really curious about this whole thing. cos u noe alot of pple confuse Christianity with Catholism. but really they are different. and i noe i tend to not be courteous to other religions or sensitive so thank u Jesus. so i was just browsing around yahoo news before i decided writing and i chanced upon an article about some of the things tt the pope did.

and one thing i read was that the pope was saddened by "how some used freedom". even before reading i knew God was just gonna teach me another lesson about His grace. i read about how the pope's messages were about freedom, about peace, about service and love to God. guess what? i was wondering at first why the message of freedom didn't set people free but in fact made people actually want to sin more, to have abortions, to follow the carnal, to have sex scandals. because talking about freedom does not set people free! his messages were just the fruits. fruits of GRACE. only grace can set people free from bondage of sin. by just looking at this very important life figure to many millions ( i heard a billion from my television), i've learnt one thing : GRACE is going to be the only thing that touches my life now. the love and the grace of God. cos that is the thing that truly TRULY sets me free.

another thing was how they mentioned that their light had died. if i'm not wrong catholics believe that God is the only one to be worshipped but Jesus is not the only way. Jesus IS the only light in this dark and dying world. i'm just the lamp post. without the fire and light inside i'm nothing. the world around me would still be dark. another thing that was quite outstanding was the pope's death and kenneth e. hagin's passing away. i kinda saw comparison cos of their age closeness. one died in sickness. but one passed away in good health. could someone explain that? (ok rhetorical. don't explain to me lol)

DARE TO PLAY WAS FANTASTIC! i'm kinda tired of typing already lol. but u noe wad touched me the most? the way the older ones loved the darlings that i've been loving all this while. lol. thank you all for loving the p6s. i know that the p6s love you back. i told Daddy God last night after all the hype and stuff that i wanted to be the last person after Him that would stop loving these youths. and He told me, "just let me love you and that will never happen." amen. from God my Daddy to the new found friends i made. i just praise God.

another thing is that a few weeks back i was feeling lonely. about the relationships thing? rem the last entry? so anw. God is good. not only did i start talking to my last time best friend again. we got to do duty together n it was a precious time. i got to noe her friend n now i treasure her friend now my friend too. and God has really been speaking and speaking to me over and over again. during one service in church the one joy was leading worship, she just said that God will never leave us nor forsake us. that one statement broke down the wall i was building up around myself. then during dare2play worship, i just felt the presence of God so strong. in that loving way that words cannot describe. a presence of love so sweet and tender, of a light that chased away the darkest parts of me. a love everlasting. my Daddy really loves me.

Blessed (happy) is the man whom thou choosest(appoint, excellent, acceptable), and causest to approach(bring near) unto thee, that he may dwell(reside and permanently stay) in thy courts: we shall be satisfied(full have plenty of) with the goodness(in the widest sense) of thy house, even of thy holy temple.

2005-03-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

Relationships... geewhiz

the funny thing about this week is that all my *solved in Jesus name* problems are all about relationships. and the thing is that to me the most important things are relationships.

firstly my classmates. wah Jesus grace grace to me in all it's abundance man... we were having Critical Reasoning skills. it's actually my fav class cos i love discussing issues. but it always leaves me so sad realising that my classmates have such ideas abt life. like we were discussing sex. ok tt was straightforward but wadever. anw i said that it should be kept within marriage but guess wad? almost my whole class doesn't think so! yeah their values really scare me. and i've realised the need for Godly support in my life. in school. esp. the friends that i used to think were friends i realised are just pple who i can laugh with share jokes with. but it kinda opened my eyes to realise that beyond that we don't have anything to say cos our values are so different. Daddy..

next. i realised that when guys like me i don't like it. i think i'm unusual. seriously. i haven't met a guy who has liked me n i'm ok with it. i tend to run away even if the guy was a friend. tt day i was talking to constance and we were saying that tt was our hedge of protection. really praise God.. cos i think w/o it i might have given my heart away many times and gotten it broken just as much. yeah so best thing would be, guys, don't like me. lol. but i noe that the day i meet my future husband (tall dark and handsome and glorious and everything i've dreamt of and much more in Jesus name) when he falls for me i won't run. yeah kaiyan said tt n i was like woah man.. yes praise God!

and last of all and most dear to my heart. my gal friends. the strangest thing has been happening to me. i feel like i've lost a couple of good frenz. ok actually maybe one. yeah this person was like my all time best friend whom i really cherished alot u noe. but suddenly it seems like we're not so close anymore? like she has so many frenz now that she loves to hang out with so much more than me. pple and even leaders have been telling me there are some frenz for seasons.. and i think it's true. but i'm not gonna be some liar and say that i'm strong and it doesn't hurt me. it did at least. but praise God for other friendships that have been deepening. yeah i was just thinking about it that day, and suddenly something snapped. altho it still hurt i realised that what she did didn't matter. cos i realised that we can't let pple determine who we are. we can't let situations make us stop loving ourselves. and i realised that Daddy wasn't letting me go to feel lousy about myself. to become someone that i wasn't. it hasn't been easy but i noe my God. He loves me and won't let me down. won't let me get hurt or dented. yeah amen. i've realised that when ur down, it's like the hardest thing to see Jesus there but He's right there beside you when u need Him. wow i'm precious to my Daddy. and so are u..

let go. let Daddy.
i'm His beloved

2005-03-16T18:35:00.000+08:00

today was a FANTASTIC day...

*skips away*

2005-03-13T14:01:00.000+08:00

so many things!!

actually i've got lotsa things to say.. haven't been blogging and accumulated alot of thoughts revelations and stuff... all i gotta say is that Daddy's faithful with revelations in hand to bless us.. recently i've been very blessed by *ahem* downloaded music. lol. and alot of them are actually songs i've never heard b4 and just downloaded for fun.. not even knowing whether they're christian music anot. but i've been v blessed.

why try to encourage no downloading when it's so readily available and mp3s use mp3s and not cds?

one qs i've been debating with my classmate ashik for a while now.. i think it's so silly when ipods, mp3s are so in and the most easy way of putting the music into ur mp3s and stuff is through downloading music.. taking them from cds u still have to rip them or something or other.. see!? i don't even know! anyway. i've decided to buy some new cds... with those songs that i adore.. if anyone wants to bless me feel free to ask me which cds they are.. i'm shameless. but in Christ i can be. so i'd like to get a new discman cos i know i'm far to lazy to put songs into the mp3 and my old one is so old.. and maybe a new mp3 for fun.. lol.. thank u Daddy.

a song:

as i've mentioned i've been really blessed by songs recently. i love music. anyway, there's this song called I SEE LOVE. about seeing Jesus the way He actually is. but i don't know who it's sung by. either third day or steven curtis chapman i'm not sure. if anyone knows can tell me please? thanks. when i find the lyrics i shall post it.

change is exciting :)

i am soo excited for all those moving on to campus actually. lol. and i'm excited to go to campus cg - SP!!!!!!!! wowowooo.. haha.. i've never been but i think it's time. u noe when ur in ministry or esp serving it's impt to have friends. i learnt this from mandy. i am extremely blessed to have a leader to be accountable to, youths whom i adore with my heart (the love of Jesus otherwise i wouldn't), and friends. but i think friends can increase. and to include my future husband. (after watching the norwegian youth pastors.. aw man..... i wanna get married! now! no i'm kidding!!) to have Godly support who are the same age as u who go through the same things as you is really something. like what the leaders in campus were sharing. i'd love to have friends in SP tt i can hang out with during lunch and all that.. and i'm sure Daddy will take care of my making of Godly friends cos i know that when He puts the desire He makes it happen for me. amen. :)

i fell in love with YOU

on the bus after fri bs i just felt the love of God wash over me like waves. over and over again. i saw the greatest love story of the cross and saw myself there. all the while Jesus looking at me and loving me. everytime i'm taken in by what seems to be attractive in this world as love, Daddy just pulls me back into His love.

i think recently the messages in church have been getting better and better and better.. i'm really glad for that. cos i know i'm one who needs so much reminder of the love of God. cos this is the love that holds me tight in the middle of the night when i'm alone. this is the love that understands whatever i am going through. this is the love that overcomes.

i've got my hands at redemption's side
whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine...

2005-03-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

blessed... thanks denise and lydia!!!!!!!!!

tonight although isn't really my birthday yet i've already had the best party. quite funny if u had seen me. my brother was laughing at me!

i was like watching american idol wearing my old old short shorts n tee when my bro said the com was acting weird... so i went to my room and suddenly there were two pple sitting on my bed. i screamed really loud and jumped out of my room. haha! as in really scary kind... haha... til i realised that it was denise and lydia. with a beautiful cake and beautiful balloon but i was most touched by their beautiful hearts in those two beautifuls... i was so so so so touched. now just thinking back just makes my heart so warmed..

i was really not expecting it at all! praise God for such loving and caring friends who make my bday so special. praise Jesus!! actually i have a revelation but i shall share tmr. it's really a blessing... :)

2005-03-02T18:24:00.000+08:00

i don't like guys...

maybe cos i came from a girls sch... but who cares... now i really think guys are the weirdest creatures ever to walk this planet! seriously!

good examples would be those in my class... seriously no manners. like we've agreed to go for lunch but they take another hour to actually leave the studio... and then alot of other habits that are really weird... i can't take it man...

oh well shant bother to continue talking about things that shouldn't affect a princess. a child of God... beloved.

countdown:
tomorrow's the big day! freedom!! i'm like finally legal!! driving!! my beloved mini card that i've been waiting really long for... ok thank u Jesus.
:):)

2005-03-02T00:59:00.000+08:00

congrats to all o level finishers!

and i mean all... i'm not just talking about those who did well like my smarty brother by the grace of God... i'm talking about all those who went thru the o level's experience and came out alive.

u guys are a SUCCESS!! don't read this and go " oh man... she prob only knows those who did well..." i happen to know quite alot of pple's results. i've been hearing talk about results day in and day out from my classmates. ok so maybe u guys didn't exactly do well.. i'm sure some of u were disappointed with what u got.

but guess what. no matter wad u got. ur marks do not define ur future. i'm definitely not ashamed to say. it's not what u do. it's really by His grace. i know it's so much easier saying than doing. but actually i told this to my brothers face. lol. imagine charis getting 6 points. i think i would have gone to a jc. and i know for a fact i wouldn't be enjoying myself as much as i am now. (not offending the jc pple i'm saying for me!)

Abundant life is not dependent on anything we do. it's on Jesus. HE CAME that we might have life and life more abundantly. the bible doesn't say charis needs to get her 10 points to have life and life more abundantly. we are so blessed. even when we don't realise it grace n mercy are our safety nets. but u noe wad? they are more than our safety nets. they are our everything. b4 we do something wrongly, grace and mercy is there for us. amen?

praise Jesus.. even if we didn't do well, He still loves us. and Love overcomes! Surely YOUR goodness and UNFAILING love will PURSUE me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.

2005-02-20T22:26:00.000+08:00

Kenneth Copeland coming

actually i'm quite excited lol... anyone wants to go with me? every meeting except fri morning.

i used to regularly watch him and his wife, Gloria, on my com and listen to their sermons... and finally in the person praise Jesus! i'm sure i'll be blessed.. :)

2005-02-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

stupid spam pple..

to everyone who received some weird thing from me tonight i am so so so supppppeeeeeerrr sorry.. it was bcos i was extremely kaypo and i'm embarrassed for not following the flow. but really i thank God for no condemnation cos i did something really dumb which i'm not going to say unless u were a victim then i can use that to cheer u up haha. God is really good. He's always there when u really need him.. to those who are still kinda stuck with it here's how i did it and i hope it works for u too:

when i restarted my com something popped up and said to run a file. don't run. and rem the name of that file
then go to c:/windows/system32(where all ur files are stored. v impt don't anyhow delete)
there should be two files of that name from step one. check properties to make sure ur deleting the right one (obviously don't delete the one that says version:microsoft corporation tt's the real one)
then delete the silly lol.sexy.lol thing it's an internet page thing
then go c drive and see whether there's all those sick vulgar things
then ur done!

really can't stand those pple who are really smart but waste their time doing stuff like that to affect everyone else. and i can't stand those big rich companies that make young students who don't earn their own money pay for their software to clear these viruses. this time they weren't even helpful at all. it was all God who helped me clear it... really really praise GOD!!! He really led me all the way. i'm quite a tech idiot but i seem to always be able to get my com going and i noe it's really by God's guidance. b4 u do all that i mentioned above, plead the blood of Jesus over ur com.

2005-02-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

Valentine's day

today i was on the train and around city hall area. all around me people were celebrating couplehood. well today here i am to celebrate singlehood. actually not quite (i'm a child of God no such thing as singledom for me). but to celebrate my special marriage with Jesus.

it's the free-est thing possible. and i can drool at cute guys and He doesn't get jealous (talking about that i saw this really cute indian guy today in sp woohoo!). i spend my valentines day with my beloved friend denise. and we can look at flowers and choose which ones we want our husbands to get us next time. i'm not obligated to any guy. and i feel so free! cos i am free indeed.

praise Jesus. i'm in love. lol.

happy v day pple!

2005-02-11T22:53:00.000+08:00

Switchfoot: Only Hope
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake and in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again
So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours I pray to be
only Yours I know now You're my only hope

Sing to me of the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

I give You my apathy (Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness; indifference)
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

i love switchfoot! seriously...

2005-02-11T21:57:00.000+08:00

God is good to me. i'm His favourite tt's why

the best thing about chinese new year is not the angbaos but the bakwa.

at least for me.. but this year the bakwa seemed to elude me at every house! i was so sure my grandaunt's house would have, but no they didn't. and neither did any other house. i was sorely disappointed. but tonight i went to my grandma's house. and they had bakwa hiding in the corner of their snack tray. i was so happy i ate to my heart's content. and then my auntie gave a whole box of it to me! woohee! praise God...

well lotsa things happening to me recently and i have no idea how to handle them sometimes but i just trust my God. i have this auntie who's my mum's jc bestfriend's mum. she's an amazing woman. transformed the school of rejects at that time (rosyth) into this sch that everyone wants to send their children to nowadays. she's someone who can officiate weddings and she's 82!

she was telling us of how the news or something was going to interview rosyth ex-principals and she said " i'm gonna tell them that it's by the grace of God. that it was God that helped me." in every story that she told us whether about her granddaughter or even for her own life she'd say,"pray to God. i'm sure He'll guide you." even when i read the bible and some of the kenneth copeland devotionals it says so about prayer. the way she said i'm sure He'll guide u just made me think yes! He will guide me thru each and every circumstance.

tt's the God she sees - ever faithful. and that's the God i want to see.

2005-01-28T17:47:00.000+08:00

I am a princess

even when i am too lazy to dress like one
even when i am can't be bothered to behave like one
even when i forget to talk like one
even when i don't stand tall and straight like one
even when i act like a pauper..

i'm a princess.

it's not who u try to be but who you are. amazing stuff. lol.

2005-01-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

for the pple deciding where to go.

info if u wanna come poly:
rules are extremely relaxed.
yes you can wear whatever u want.
more projects than exams (depending on course of course..)
timetable's getting weirder.
it's better to come if u are really passionate about the course cos it's much easier. think about not coming if u don't noe wad course u want.. unless ur following the flow of God

info if u wanna come singapore poly:
it's really fun!
quite lacking in goodlooking guys
girls are rather short. (i'm quite tall k!)
considerably relaxed as compared to other polys
very very school proud most of the pupils are
taufik's from here
alot more school spirit compared to other polys i think

info if u wanna come interior design singapore poly:
it rocks!!!
extremely relaxed
lecturers are madder than all of us put together
alot of hard work
classmates are fun
u might not exactly noe wad the lecturers are talking about but u'll still get better
passion is good. real good.

info if u wanna go jc:
i have none

in any case just wanna say to all the olevel finishers that u guys should ultimately trust God and follow his flow. sometimes the thing u want or u think is best for u may not actually be the best. i should noe... i mean i din even think last yr i'd be doing this course but i just followed the life and it's been extremely good so far. even if u make a choice u end up regretting, just noe that even in that situation God can cause u to be favoured to have alot of wisdom and anything u need for it.

He loves us
He shows us grace even when we don't deserve it

That's what makes God, God.

2005-01-19T13:28:00.000+08:00

woohoo!! this is part of my project actually... super cool rite? i did it all myself and a day b4 completion of it and i'm the first... seriously praise God for wisdom lol... :)

2005-01-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
Redemption is here
Redemption is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here..

sorry for the clashing colours.. but i really want the lyrics to stand out. i think everyone knows the lyrics already. but just read it again n ponder...............

hmm... i was feeling kinda condemned and weird about something just now... then i kept playing this song alot... and it's been playing in my head for quite a long time today even during bs... switchfoot is such an amazing band! if anyone hasn't gotten me a present n would like to (since i realised quite a few pple read my blog haha) u can get me the switchfoot album. or something... ok i'm kidding... anyway this song is so amazing definitely God-inspired. it definitely has done something for me. praise God... :)

2005-01-11T20:25:00.000+08:00

Jennifer and Brad divorced!

ok normally i don't really care about Hollywood couples getting divorced since it happens so often and i can't really be bothered knowing stuff about them and their lives cos i just appreciate their acting. not even all of their acting. some.

but this one seemed 2 be quite disappointing. i really like jennifer aniston and i thot they would last quite long. but not even four years! and now i totally dislike angelina jolie. lol i'm talking like some groupie.

but i just learnt somethings from this about marriage (read marriage not BGR). it's so important to flow with one another. to not always have our way but to work things out. and not just to call it quits just like that. thank God for us we have Jesus. He's the glue of our future marriages and our parents marriages. i think marriage takes so much grace! thank God for the grace in my parents marriage amen.

for those that read this n feel sorta unhappy cos maybe ur parents split. just rem our God is so much bigger and He can restore quality and quantity. Restoration is better than creation to our God. amen. well the rest is private... haha... see ya God bless!

2005-01-09T18:18:00.000+08:00

Singapore I'm proud to be born here.

after all the things that have been going on in church since the tsunami hit, i just felt compelled to go do newpaper cuttings. i saw quite alot of depressing stuff, but i saw more hope, and miracles and alot of intercession needing to be done.

while cutting, i prayed for all the orphans that all would be protected by God's powerful hand against those sick sick pple who tried to kidnap these children. while cutting i rejoiced over the miracles that happened. while cutting, i saluted all the heroes young and old. but somehow a sense of pride really touched my heart.

altho i complained (last time) about how horrid and stressful singapore's educational system was, and how boring the shopping was getting, and how pple always had to rush into the mrt b4 letting other pple out amongst other things, i am so so soooo proud to be Singaporean. I can't even explain the immense pride i had while reading the amounts of donations from citizens going into this relief efforts, how we want to help long term and not just short term (what pastor was talking about), and the fact that our government is helping for so much more reasons than trying to gain political popularity in the region. We are extremely blessed to be untouched by the tidal wave. I see pictures of our uniformed personnel rushing there to provide medical help, of them using our best jets to send relief aid as soon as possible and especially of the common citizens helping and getting there as fast as our forces. I am so touched and i'm so proud.

my brother said something really amazing today that opened my eyes. he said, "now i can see why we're called the Antioch of Asia. now i'm glad that i wasn't born anywhere else even Israel. We're called for a time as this." i totally feel the same.

actually i feel like i haven't done enough and i'm sure someone reading this may feel the same but you noe wad? as Christians the smallest amount of help can turn into the greatest amount of help these people will ever receive. a short prayer will command angels to protect the orphans. a tiny offering can multiply like the 5 loaves and fishes. i know with all my heart that this is true.

We're called for such a time as this. Be awed pple of the great things Daddy is going to use you to do. not only in this but in this year as well.

2005-01-05T15:35:00.000+08:00

the simple pleasures of life.

today i had the best day of my life. a day back into childhood sort of. :) was with my classmates the guys who think they're some sort of mafia gang and called the leader "don" or better known as the DI Don.. lol DID is my course name. and another two guys called tornado and hurricane. haha how silly is that? but it was fun. i laughed so hard and long. i love laughing.

imagine sitting at a busstop in the shade on the higher seat, eating the yummy wafer icecream from the uncle with his icecream trolley and shaking ur legs. boy tt was fun...

i just realised sometimes we chase the big things and miss these small things that make us so happy.. actually these are big things! it can make a day, put a smile on your face, and just noe how loved you are like the most precious girl in the world. that was how i felt. my cares and worries just dropped away like dead leaves and i sat there without a care in the world. i even purposely missed my bus. lol cos i was still eating my icecream. but guess wad? the next bus came right after i threw away the plastic tt the uncle gave me and licked my fingers clean! haha.. blessings really flow when the cares all go..

enjoy the simple pleasures!

2005-01-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

-Israel-

hello... i haven't really had the time to talk about israel here. but i'd just like to say this "pray for the peace of israel" and go to israel!!! once you've been there to the places where Jesus went you'll fall in love more with Him and you'll love israel. the place is truly special. the friendships u make there are also very precious. and oh man there's just so much! i'm going there again n i hope u guys will too. just wanna rem my frenz from there:

mum, dad, bryan, constance (my beloved fren), puiser (my manicurist! lol), mel, tessa, matthew, fania, theresa,amanda, michelle, aunty caroline, uncle kimseng, joshua, stella, xingni, deaconness pauline, amir, moshe, david tatu, yehuda, ken, dawn, mel's parents, michelle's parents, bradley and fam, aunty grace!!, shirley and husband, feliz and husband, uncle andrew (fantastic guitar skills!!), aunty selena, horrace, uncle raymond and his wife, benjamin, claudia and janice tay, han, joan, charis, jason, marcus and the one who always sits next to him, pierre, yasmine, gary, lynn, amanda's sis and mum, ri teacher and fren, uncle lawrence and wife, jerica police woman, the bus B captain and wife, uncle gary and wife, uncle roger, aunty who kept letting swop seats with her to sit wif con and her roommate, stella's fam and xingni's mum, and the rest i can't rem. was blessed to be in the same trip.

2005-01-04T21:24:00.000+08:00

i love israel!! with my beloved frenz at the jordan-israel crossing. top: con, matthew, puiser, bryan. bottom: tessa, michelle, joshua, me and mel.

2005-01-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

Quotes from movies worth watching.. lol

"You've got more power in you than you realise" - Mrs Incredible

"I've always loved you" - Matt, 13 going on 30 (i love matt!!)

"It's in (the) blood" - Mrs Incredible

i suddenly love quotes n i'm gonna write more when i watch more shows. i watched phantom. extremely good but the lovely lines come in one entire song. :)

2004-12-24T01:28:00.000+08:00

Christmas at orchard

did anyone read today's (ok yest's newspaper??) on the front page was a heading hallelujah something... i din really catch it but i read the article and it was saying how this year pple are starting to spend more unlike last yr. the writer attributed it to the fact that last yr had sars, and alot of other stuff but u noe wad?? i don't think it's all that... serious.

did u notice this year's christmas? it's not even arrived but the whole thing has been about Jesus. the christmas parade (tho i actually din think it was fantastic but i know that someone watched and a seed was sown), the little stage near ck tangs where they're having performances from CHRISTIAN bands singing CHRISTIAN songs! our two days of concert. and so much this year has gone into glorifying Jesus. Christians are no longer afraid to mention the name of Jesus loud and proud throughout orchard road! praise GOD!!! i think it brings new boldness to declare our Jesus to our friends and classmates. besides this concert was really cool lah! i know lots of pple are gonna rush into churches and just feel the presence of God and be touched and receive Him and have their lives changed and woohoo! i'm so excited..

i'm so happy that this year singapore celebrated christmas differently. it spent it worthwhile. with JESUS! praise God amen?

2004-12-20T01:47:00.000+08:00

Jesus my Lord my life!

ok lah i'll be honest later ah all the young ones think it's good to date (actually it's not wrong.. but at the wrong time it has serious consequences that isn't v nice).. haha... the hunky man that i'm in love with is Jesus! yup. totally fallen for Him... tho He's got quite alot to handle from me. having to woo me back every 5 mins or so. but i'm not too big for Him.

i'm:
the love of His life
the apple of His eye
Daddy's girl
covenant child
highly favoured
deeply loved
greatly blessed
precious
lol... er hot babe!

yup. tt's me alright. but guess what? that's u too! :) bask in His love babes!

2004-12-16T22:26:00.000+08:00

EXTREME reunion... :) imagine most of us are graduated!