Blessed.. thank You Jesus.

i've realised that i'm the most undeserving human being in the whole entire world.

the past two nites i've been crying. no not over sad stuff. it's quite funny really. the first nite was cos i was thinking about how good my aunt was and how taken for granted she was and how much i appreciated her. and i cried. then last nite i was writing a card to my dad cos it's his birthday and i realised how for granted i took him too. and i cried. lol.

basic background: my family is celebrating alot this week. my dad's birthday (as i've mentioned), my parents anniversary, and my brother bryan's birthday. ALL IN ONE WEEK! so we had a party on sat. with my extended family. and my aunt is my father's younger sister.

i've come to realise the greatest blessing for a child is his/her parents being still together after all these years (25 for me) and still in love. and i'm so blessed. i have it! and the love has grown from glory to glory. my dad still is in love with my mum and my mum is still in love with my dad. and it's the love of God that rests on both of them. and i love it!

and i'm crying again. cos theirs is what has created a loving home for me. and i want it between me and my husband next time. amen. long lasting love touches my heart deep.

anw this is what the Lord has been teaching me. cos i'm born with (super)naturally good things. i have a solid home. i can spend on what i want without having to worry about cash flow. i am smart (lol i am). i'm pretty creative. i'm favoured. i have a personality i'm in love with (even if others aren't). i get to serve in a ministry that has blessed me. i get to travel. and there are alot of things i'm born with.

and the silly idiot that i am. i used to envy others who had it worse than me. partly cos i saw how in church i saw them grow quickly and i wanted that. and partly cos it's more dramatic. i love drama. i know i'm weird.

and u know how they always say when u don't have it, God can use you. i was like "but i have this! God why u give me? now ur not gonna use me.." and i tried for awhile to become less so that i could become more.

yet i felt stupid. cos i knew in my heart these could be used for God. and deacon Dan confirmed it for me. he told me that God can use me with all my gifts and talents. cos whatever i'm born with God has given me. even Pastor Prince said so. He said that the most undeserving is what you get from birth cos u can't work to get it. and tt's me.

thank God. when things come to you naturally. like math for me. cos it's from God. thank you Lord for everything you've given me so naturally. i've got it good.

and for those who don't.. for everything there's Jesus Christ. believe it and be blessed.