Spirit vs the flesh

yest they announced who was getting the lead roles and the understudies. for my role i din get either. lol. but actually i was pretty ok with it. not upset but peaceful. praise God for favour tho. cos my director and the drama director said that the votes for ours were the closest (while they actually picked who they wanted for the role) so i was welcomed to join them whenever they had rehearsals for the lead roles and vocal trainings. and some of the people i din expect came and told me they were hoping i would get it and were more upset than me about it. felt so favoured!

i thank God cos His favour's all over me whether anot i get the role whether anot the directors like me anot. it doesn't matter who on this earth likes me. it's the favour of God that matters.

but as i went home last nite, i suddenly wanted the role badly. talk about confused. but i realised that it was just my flesh. my flesh was crying out for the attention. it was crying out for the lost opportunity to sing a solo song.

i realised that it's so subtle. sometimes i don't even know that it's my flesh that's acting up. i think we're all very familiar of our flesh being the one that makes the mistakes or when we're lazy or bad, we know it's our flesh. but when it comes to the "little things" like our egos/pride (guys have ego girls have pride :) ) getting hurt or vainglorious habits it never occurs to us (ok me) that this is part of the flesh.

sometimes we say things like "part of me wants this but yet part of me want that". i believe alot of the time we have the Spirit way but we want what our flesh wants. it is weak afterall.

but i realised that the flesh is no longer a part of me! because it's dead! it died with Jesus on the cross. amen! i'm blessed. :)